K-1

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K-1 is a Japanese sport in which two martial artists kick the shit out of each other, like boxing, if a person who is knocked down stays down humping the floor for 10 seconds, it is declared a knockout. Most of the fighters are huge giants of Arab or Dutch origin, looking like Godzilla in front of the Japanese referrees.

Creation[edit]

The sport was ceated by a Japanese kyokushin black belt by the name of Kazyuyoshi Ishii Suzuki Mehraan. It's aim was to test out which stand up martial art is the best... STAND UP, so Judo, Wrestling and Brazilian Jiu jitsu can fuck off, it was founded in 1993 in Japan with a pure Japanese roster, it was later that the fighters from Thailand showed up and kicked everyone's ass.

UFC fighters in K-1[edit]

Get their asses kicked.

Notable Fighters[edit]

K-1 Kickboxing[edit]

  • Buakaw Por Pramuk: A muay thai champion of Thailand, he had some serious beef with the Silver Wolf, Masato. Judges hate this man because he is entirely too rawesome.
  • Masato "The Silver Wolf" Masato: One of the best fighters in the world from Japan, respected cuz he kept getting his ass kicked by Andy Souwer, but he never quit and eventually won, then retired because he achieved his life long dream.
  • Hong-Man Choi: An oversized Korean, his nickname says it all. Also he raps. go figure.
  • Badr "The Golden Boy" Hari: An Arab Satanist who left Islam to worship Satan, evidence of this is shown when he comes with the flag of Morocco with the Satanist symbol instead of a normal star. He also is a BA.
  • Semmy Schilt: Another giant, not as big as Choi, but still big. He has won four friggin WGPs. Four!
  • Bob Sapp: An oversized football player who, despite his steroid weight advantage gets his ass kicked by tiny guys. Except with the greatest K-1 fighter ever.
  • Mirko "Cro Cop" Filopovic A Croatian soccer star who got into kickboxing, he decapitated many opponents with headkicks. eventually he started running low on fuel. To this day fans eagerly await a recharge. Until then a mere shell of his former shelf will continue to be used a main card filler.
  • Mark "The Super Samoan" Hunt: A New Zealand fighter with an adamantium chin. His one Ko loss was because he was tired and fell asleep moments before he punched.
  • Remy "The Flying Dutchman" Bonjasky: A gentleman with the ability to fly. Also he pwns.
  • Alistair Ubereem: A dutch goliath with deadly knees. He regularly consumes Horse meat, and plans to consume the HW diviosn of Strikeforce and the UFC for their precious proteins.

K-1 HEROES[edit]

  • Yoshihiro "Sexyama" Akiyama: A Japanese Korean Judo fighter, he is considered the sexiest fighter on earth with the ability to cure lesbianism but increase homosexuality among the male population.
  • Lyoto Machida: A Japanese Brazilian Karate fighter who now fights in UFC
  • Royce Gracie: A brazilian geek who introduced his family's style to the MMA world.
  • Joachim "Hell Boy" Hansen: A bitter enemy of Shinya Aoki. Also he pwns.
  • Norifumi Man Yamamoto: A Japanese fighter, who loves punching and harming unsuspecting individuals. He should do his best never to fight in K-1 ever. he would wreck the WEC.
  • Kazushi "Gracie Hunter" Sakuraba: He loved the hurting Gracies. Also absorbing inhuman amounts of punishments before winning in some ridiculous way.
  • Genki Sudo: An MMA legend, he now works in the music industry.
  • Melvin "Marvellous" Manhoef: A dutch muay thai striker with no ground game. But who needs one when you can KO an elephant. I'll tell you who needs one. Anyone. I'm bored. Manhoef pwns.

Rules[edit]

  • No Making out
  • No humping like in UFC
  • No farting, all athletes will be given a toilet break between rounds.
  • Groin kicks are encouraged.
  • No spanking (They wear boxing gloves anyways so its not possible).