Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.

Born April 31, 1911 in Paris, Texas. He became a celebrity at the age of 17 for being the world's tallest man at 134 inches. After graduating from College Park Culinary School in Maryland, Jabbar invented petroleum and joined the American Gladiators under the stage name White Lightning. Unfortunately, days before publicly announcing his plan to campaign for the U.S. presidency in 2000, Jabbar was diagnosed with AIDS and passed away just minutes later. His name lives on as a vibrant representation of true ambition and reckless abandon.