From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to navigation Jump to search
For those without comedic tastes, the "questionable parody" of this website called Wikipedia have an article about Kennedy.

Kennedy is a school of existentialism founded on the principle "I cheat, drink, and allow women to drown, therefore I am," first popularized in the New England Region of the United States in the 1960's.

“I'm a kennedy, i take offence to this.”

~ Tezza27 on His last name

“Back and to the left. Back and to the left.”

~ Everyone else on the above comment

Kennedy Liberalism[edit]

Kennedy bros.jpg
Dead Kennedys
Live Kennedys

At first rejected as being a passing intellectual fad, Kennedy was soon adopted by scores of Americans as not just a philosophical movement, but a call to political action called Kennedy Liberalism, which holds to the premise that if we drink enough, and carrouse enough, and make lengthy speeches punctuated with sufficient "umms" and "ahhs," and spend other people's money, we will be able to cheat on our spouses with impunity and achieve true narcissism.

Kennedy Liberalism grew strong enough to control the United States Congress up until the mid-1850's, and was the prime cause of the war with the Southern United States. Most political historians believe the movement has lost is vitality and is unlikely to influence American politics in the future.

Other Uses[edit]

Kennedy is also a Harvard colloquialism used to describe students who are expelled for cheating, flee from the scene of motor vehicle accidents, and run around without pants while middle-aged. Often combined with the adjective Ted. Usage: "What a fucking Ted Kennedy you are for letting that woman drown while you ran away and pretended not to be involved!"

Also, the term can refer to the actions of liberal editors to eliminate critical references to their flawed objects of worship. Usage: "The meaningful analysis of the flawed liberal world view was Kennedied by an irrational editor."


The history of this term dates back to Lesser Irish Potato Famine on the Western End of The Vineyard of Martha, an island once controlled by a reclusive Druidic Cult which bore striking similarities in its dress and symbolic images to the National Socialist movement in Germany. The Cult left behind relics which are believed to have been made entirely out of human bones and liquor bottles. The cult's greatest leader was Ted Kennedy, an Irish immigrant known to cult members only as Booz-Hoor the Magnificent. Booz-Hoor lost his leadership position after mistakenly tying large stones to a young maiden and asking her to wait at the bottom of the ocean while he went to get more drinks. The body was never found.

The start of the Blue Mennace[edit]

When vice president Johnson took over office the new era of liberalism continued to take over the United States. Though with the liberals in charge the country was known as the USSA(United Socialist States of America)until the 80's came and freedom of the united states finally was back by the Republican Party. Though the Blue Mennace reared its ugly head yet again in the early 90's with a man known as Bill Clinton. After Clinton's reign of horror ended the republic could yet rise again but fall in 2008 by a man known as Obhama the biggest liberal bastard of them all. There seems to be no escape from the Blue Mennace's Americanized Communistic ideals called liberalism.

Seven Points of Kennedy[edit]

  • We shall not ask what our country can do for us, but what we can do for our country.
  • We shall do these things not because they are easy, but because they are hard.
  • We believe the glow from that light can truly light the world.
  • We believe in losing members of our family to assassination/plane crashes
  • We are very sorry for the death of Ms. Kopeckny.

Langage games of JFK[edit]

  • "Live like a God among men as if you will live forever and you will die tomorrow !"
  1. "Don't ask you what God can do for you, just ask yourself what you can do for God !"
  2. "Don't ask you what you can do for God, just ask yourselt what God can do for you !"