Keytar

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A keytar modified for its original purpose: warfare.

“The Keytar is just the keyboard's retarded brother.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Keytars

The Keytar is an unconventional instrument, used as a hybrid between a keyboard, guitar, and pig. It is generally played by wimps who try to act cool by playing a keyboard like a guitar, so anyone looking from a mile away on a dark night might assume they were a guitar player. But the fact is, those who play the keyboard are wimps.

This guy's got it all wrong.

The keytar is bearable, however, when used as a weapon. As a weapon, it is generally used for stabbing, blocking, parrying, and playing techno.

The Origination of the Keytar[edit]

After the invention of the keyboard became nearly half the rage, keybordian scientests needed to steal the other half back. However, the other half of the rage was being held by guitars, for use in Rock and Roll, Heavy Metal, and Abraham Lincoln. So the keyboardians invented the accordion, which failed to go anywhere. The gutairists were still pretty PO'd, or maybe even TO'd. So the ginormous guitar-keyboard war began. Many lives were lost in the carnage, but in the end Jesus got tired of all the fighting and just fused the two instruments together, creating the keytar. However, it was popular for nearly 3.5 seconds, after which it was used for people who wanted to be cool. Like sunglasses. And drugs.