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“What car should I buy if I won the lottery today?”

~ The K.I.A.
K.I.A. - The only good car ever made

The K.I.A. (Kills In Action) is the greatest automobile ever made. It is such a great car, that it is the only automotive brand that Uncyclopedia has good things to say about it.


The K.I.A was first designed and manufactured in Vietnam. Its purpose back then was to be a single structure where you could live, work, and drive around in. The idea took off very quickly.

The K.I.A. as a dwelling did not last long, though. Within the next four hours, the size of the human being increased so much, there was no longer any room for a single person, let alone a family, to live inside of the K.I.A. Still, it has remained to this day the greatest method of transportation every invented.


The K.I.A. is the safest car to date. It is stronger than a tank.

Here is The Good News: African-Americans are moving back to the South.

Fuel efficiency[edit]

If you buy a K.I.A. and a $10 gift certificate for gasoline, you will get $10 off your next gasoline purchase.


The K.I.A. has many notable uses for which it is worth every dime you pay

As a car[edit]

The K.I.A. is a very good car. It is such a good car, it can take you to Mexico, and with it's 77 year warranty, it will never break down.

As a weapon[edit]

The K.I.A. has eliminated the need to own a railroad from our society. The government can pave the roads for you! No deposit required!

As a place to have sex[edit]

The K.I.A. is the perfect place for insects to have sex. Insects provide food for birds and so they are not pests.

For Humans[edit]

The car has air con, keeping your testes at the optimum temperature.