King Kong Bundy
Eddie Kucthatori Cassanova Insanwiki Brown, better known by his stage name King Kong Bundy was born to Al and Peggy Bundy in Chicago 1908. Eddie was a bastard child that was given up for adoption when Peggy was 16 due to Al being a future prospect hall of famer for the NFL. Eddie was left to the nuns at the 6 sisters of absolutely no fucking mercy' monastery in Aurora. Eddie was a chubby little kid and had no neck by the time he was 17 months old. He would remain at the monastery until he was 7 when he was finally adopted by Bertha-Fay and Jimmy Wanker. They moved to a town called Wanker County where Eddie started his life as a farmer and part time bull rider. Eddie loved to ride the bulls, he became a 5 time bull riding champion, but he found his calling in life when he started to actually wrestle the bulls in a promotion the WWF talent scouts had looking for young superstars to wrestle there live stock now that the pandas where becoming extinct. He would go on to become the heavy weight champion of bull wrestling and whenever he pinned a bull for the 3 count, he would celebrate by eating them. By the time Eddie was 17, he weighed 407 pounds after a dump.
One of the scouts of the WWF at the time was legendary hall of famer Bobby Heenan, he saw potential in this 6'9, 407 pound monster of a man, and asked if Eddie would come wrestle for their promotion to take dives to Hulk Hogan in PPV events. Eddie soon made his debut in the WWF under the name Baby Face Bull but the name and gimmick didn't take off, so the creative team of the WWF, also known as Vince McMahon came up with the name King Kong Bundy. Vince was fully inebriated at the time and was watching Godzilla on the tube, and showing his southern charm, he mistakenly took the giant monster on TV from Japan as the American version rip-off.
Eddie now as King Kong Bundy made his way back into the ring, escorted by Bobby the brain Heenan to be built up as an unstoppable monster in the WWF to build up his audience recognition before setting up a much to take a fall to Hulk Hogan. Bundy would annihilate opponents with his body-oder, and hug them in the ring for 15 minutes before they tapped out from boredom. Soon enough Wrestlemania 2 was around the corner, and Bundy was now established as the #1 heel, ready to take a dive to put Hogan over. Hogan and Bundy would face off in a steel cage match that Hogan won in the end as planned.
Bundy would become a mid-card wrestler after that that stuck around for a few more years as part of the Heenan Family faction, then part of the Million Dollar Man Teb Dibiase's Million Dollar Team which Bundy supported due to him being dropped on his head so many times by Hogan in the past that he really believed the team had a million dollars. He would then just later fade out of the public eye by the mid 90's and went back to Wanker County to wrestle bulls in non-choreographed matches.
There is possible rumor that Bundy may return to the WWE very soon. Vince has been heard saying that at least Bundy went home after he departed the company, and didn't throw a shit-fit and join the WCW like most of the other mid 90's WWF superstars. For that accomplishment, Vince is considering bringing him back now that he realizes people are tired of the big-muscly steroid types again, and want someone who will work for a reasonable contract. Vince is currently trying to sign up a deal with a 6 month supply of BBQ Ribs & Elephants balls on toast, but Vince is currently having trouble finding enough bread.
Where is he now?
Bundy has become a flight stewardess for Air Canada and enjoys picking flowers with his 2 sons Paul Wight and Glen Jacobs. He has also taken up his trade again as a professional mover for Prior Movers which he began during a period of time in the late 1980's during his summer break from the WWF. Bundy now owns his own moving company in Wanker County which brings in a yearly revenue of 12 bucks in cold hard cash. Bundy says he is living the dream, and earning more money now then he ever did in his stint with the WWF. Bundy is currently in negotiations to return to WWE RAW sometime soon if Vince can arrange the contract Bundy wants if he is to stop working for his moving company for 3 days.
- 17 Time Bull Wrestling Champion of Wanker County
- Once held the belt for Hulk Hogan while he injected steroids directly into the eye of his dick.
- Was inducted into the Guinness Book of Records and Ripley's Believe It Or Not in 2006 as being the first man to fart the entire national anthem in the key of E#.
- Set the all-time record for most bulls wrestled then eaten.
- Can play his pubic hairs like a violin.
- Won the Michellen Man look-a-like contest in all 51 states.
- Was asked to play a scientific experiment gone wrong by Uncle Fester in The Addams Family part 3.