Knapford

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Map of Knapford


Knapford Town is surprisingly: a well off place, although you wouldn't guess it if you went on appearance alone. Cash Converters, usually a sure sign of decrepitude and urban decay, are only there because they want a shop in every part of the UK. It's the main town on the Island of Sodor, home to the depot of the Isle of Sodor Rail Co. and approx. 300 Chavs

To identify the chavs, watch them carefully;

  1. Check for camera phones (not proper cameras);
  2. See if they hang around at the station without catching a train;
  3. Check to see if they paid their fare on the train.
The Town Flag "Old Jerk-Off"

The town is large, almost the size of a small city - but not quite. Not that the chavs care, they give this sprawling railway town a the problems of a small city, with an unrelenting campaign of vandalism, arson and petty killings. With the large amount of Range Rovers and BMWs which clog the streets on their way to Waitrose and Sainsbury's, putting Knapford in the unlikely position of being one of the most exclusive and undesirable places to live in the UK.

Knapford railway station[edit]

Opened in 1966 (it celebrated its 40th birthday in 2006), Knapford station is part of both the Knapford and Ffarquar railway and the Great Sodor Central railway.

What is there to see and do at the station[edit]

  • Toy shop - sells a wide range of porn toys. Located on Platform 1 next to ticket office.
  • Old Donald's buffet - next to the other side of the ticket office, Old Donald's station buffet offers a wide range of homemade foods to tempt all palates. From freshly made baguettes to hot meals and burgers, homemade soups, Rocks, Metal gears, homemade cakes and pastries, this station buffet offers an exciting range of foods for children and adults alike.
  • Gambling arcade - facing towards the track next to Platform 1, this establishment features games such as penny falls and other gambling games (change for games located in shop)
  • Model railway - on board the coach on display at Platform 6, this features Hornby and 00 gauge layouts as well as a model railway
  • Never open model railway - never open and located in coach next to model railway coach.
  • Gay pub bar - located next to the fire exit (on Platform 6), this is the line's working gay bar serving beers and snacks.
  • Zak in his racoon costume
  • Level Crossing - where the road crosses the railway and drivers gamble with death.
Come See the Stickburgh Sheds and the Engines!
Just stay away from the Port...

Places[edit]

A rare visitor to Knapford (interpret this as you wish)
Automotive
  • Pay 'N' Spray
Clothes
  • Binco
  • SubUrban
Food/Drink
  • Burger Shot
  • Gravy Train (Inside the Train Station,DUH)
  • Pastageddon (Pasta Restraunt, not a Video Game)
  • The Cheesy Crust Pizza Co.
Moving and Delivery
  • U-Jerk
  • Spand Express
  • Shitty Stobart
Motels
  • U Get Inn Motel
Knapford County Flag
Legal
  • 0845-555-I-SUE-U
  • 0800-I-GOT-RAPED
Records
  • Vinyl Countdown
Pawn
  • Cash Converters
Radio Stations
  • GVFM - (Good Vibrations) Classic Rock "Classic Rock Never gets old, just a little *Cough* Dusty"
Centers
  • Conference Center (Travelodge room 3)
Toys/Models
  • Zero RC
Video Rental
Weapons and Tools
  • Deathco. Inc. (Gun Maker)
  • Ammu-Nation
  • Screw This (Tools)