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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Kraft.

Kraft is a cheesy US company. Founded in 3, it is most famous for being really, really big.

Kraft Cheese[edit]

A curdled milk product which has won the highest accolades from French gourmets, the recipe for Kraft Cheese came about by a fortuitous accident when lightning struck a vat of yoghurt in which Asterix VII, Burgundy's shortest arch-duke and French resistance leader, was drowning his pet chimpanzee, Bulles (Bubbles), after the chimp had disgraced himself in a remarkable display of simian lustfulness at a gathering of midget nobility.

Kraft Cheese (which translates roughly from the ancient Burgundian as 'Chimp Batter') has garnered applause for its crumbly, yet buttery texture. Its rich creamy veining and vigorous taste reflect admirably the noble culinary traditions of medieval Burgundy, where court banquets could include such timeless delights as giblet turnover, gruel and fur pie.

Some suggestions have been made that rabbits (see Clinja ) at the core of the earth reproduce to make kraft cheese however the source of this suggestion is unreliable. ( for details see The Big One )

Judy Garland devoted her fifteenth year to Kraft Cheese.


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