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Kripkenstein was the philosophical monstrosity brought about by the fusion of intellectual giants Saul 'London is not Pretty' Kripke and Ludwig Wilhelm van Ordmond Wittgenstein. The most interesting thing about this bizarre creature is that Wittgenstein and Kripke's lifespans only overlapped by ten years.

This is not the first fusing phenomenon to occur in the history of the analytic tradition, as the trend was in fact pioneered by the great logicians Bertrand Russell and Gottlob 'Gob' Frege when by a semantic fluke they simultaneously (a la Euclidian spacetime) entertained an exactly identical proposition and their brains were thus forced to merge into a physical unit, forming the notorious philosophical bogey-man Russfrege or "Frussel" who has been known to haunt analytic philosophers in their wildest dreams (see article on analytic tradition).


Unknown to many Wittgenstinian scholars is that Wittgenstein's entire philosophical career was dedicated to deliberately bringing about a re-enactment of this bizarre psychological union (a feat which can only be achieved between philosophers of the same tradition; mixed-breed philosopher hybrids are not metaphysically feasible; intriguingly, rumours circulate that it occurred between Friedrich Nietzsche and a tethered horse at the moment when Nietzsche, nearing the end of his rock star career, abandoned all his moral principles and felt pity). The proof lies in Wittgenstein's own lucid words: "all my sentences are trying to say the same thing", which his true scholars know to mean "all my sentences are trying to same the same thing as another analytic philosopha at the SAME TIME: Bert Russell did it so why can't I??" but as we know Wittgenstein only ever spoke in half truths hence the unwritten "more important second-half" of his Tractatus and the claims that some things can only be demonstrated, not stated; therefore the apparent unsupportedness of the conjecture about his life's purpose should not be surprising to any true Wittgenstinians.

The eventually successful creation of the monster Kripkenstein is one of Wittgenstein's greatest intellectual debts to his mentor and adopted father Bertrand Russell, whose phenomenal influence on his intellectual life and dress sense Wittgenstein never chose to truly acknowledge, preferring to outgrow and spurn his master in true Sith Apprentice fashion. Russell humoured his mentee to the point of admitting that "Mr Wittgenstein" had truly become his intellectual better, though convinced that it was "just a phase".

The "Private Language" is officially spoken on Penis Island. In 1832, its only resident debated himself in the famous Private Language Argument.