Kublai Khan

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search

“The answer as to why on this Earth we require an article outlining the various actions and attitudes of such a soul who sells illegal pirated DVDs for a living eludes both me and my various peers in the philosophical industry.”

~ Immanuel Kant on Kublai Khan's Uncylcopedia page

The originator of the great Kublai Fried Duck chain (later known as KFD), that successfully encompassed the known world from 1215 to 1187. This has since been taken over by one Colonel Sanders, who changed its primary ingredient to chicken or rat, and rebranded with a communist commonwealth, Kentuckistan.

Kublai, known to his friends as, Kub, was the Grandsons,Fathers, Mothers, Brother,3rd cousin twice removed from His fathers sides, roommate of Ghengis Khan and cousin of well-oiled British dynamo Zubair Khan, who also attempted to establish a fast food chain across all of Asia and Europe. Unfortunately for Ghengis, his method of establishing fast food chains across Europe and Asia was most unpopular, as was his recipe of eight secret herbs and spices, which was intended to flavor the flesh of his fallen enemy, the principle ingredient of his fast food. Human flesh, flavored with anything other than mustard, was not popular at the time.

New Recipe and Xanadu[edit]

Kublai experimented with the original eight secret dirt spices, and discovered that copious quantities of opium and other mind-altering hallucinogens helped disguise the swamp-flavoured duck, and this proved popular, especially among the artistic culture of Europe. Samuel Taylor Coleridge's popular poem, was a direct result of eating KFCColeridge later formed the Xanadu marketing division of KFD, becoming its marketing vice-president. Kublai Khan sold millions of duck to the people of America, who changed the recipe to the famous "KFC" or chicken.

Involvement in the Fashion World[edit]

Kublai also attempted to bring in the "All you can eat diet", and tried to convince the fashion industry of the time that "fat and bloated" was sexy. It is believed Kublai was influenced in this manner by his distant fore-father.


Kublai was killed by the sexy Nick Maleshev in a massive car chase. In the end Kublai was no match for the youngster and Henry Beumont-Kelly ran a red light and killed both of them

See Also[edit]