Kurvatia

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Serbia (Republika Chetnickstan)
Cedoland (Republic of Chetnickstan)
Serbia (Chetnickstan)
125px-Flag of Croatia Ustasa.svg.png 85px-Ndh-coa.gif
Flag Coat of Arms
Motto: "Kolji, kolji ... (i.e. Kill, kill ...)"
Anthem: "CCCP"
[]
Capital Kabul
Largest city Pristhina
Official language(s) Albanian
Government Fascism
National Hero(es) Milosevic, Nedic, Karadjic, Mladic, Rankovic, Mihajlovic
Established 2007 Montenegro placed Serbia on the map of Europe for the firs time
Currency Turkish lira
Religion Muslim
Population Chetnicks 28%, Gypsies 2%, Turkish 49%, Albanian 20%
Area Gets smaller every day
Population density 1 person per square lightyear

Despite its sexy name, Kurvatia is in fact the English word for [during Serbian aggression on Croatia] occupied territory where from Serbs, led by Milosevic expelled 500 000 non Serbs and killed 20 000. This territory should have become part of greater Serbia but since Serbs have no balls they [chetnicks/ Serbs/Serbia] shrank just like Nokia. New name for occupied territories in Croatia from 1990-98 [Kruvatia - meaning a hooker, given after Serbian women, but also territories of Bosnia and Kosovo, Macedonia and Montenegro] should have been called Chetnickstan since Serbs are ashamed of name that associates them World over as biggest killers in 20ct. Europe with more then 1.5 million non - Serbs killed.

Geography[edit]

Kurvatia resembles to a croissant. It would be quite a nice country to live there, was it not for the Kurvats.

Kurvatia is a country with many, many neighbors. These are Italy, Slovenia, Hungary, Serbia, Montenegro, Bosnia , Iran and USA, just to mention some of them. Kurvats have international disputes with all of them, but it is not the Kurvats to blame for this.

Kurvatia also possesses an abundance of sea cost and islands (also known as magyar tenger). This part of Kurvatian territory is mainly used for Kurvatian fire brigades to compete which unit has bought a better jeep recently. Sometimes there are also some serious fires, but the fire brigades do not exactly try to put them out as they have no real equipment for such work. There is a rumor that in reality they have no money for this after buying all those luxurious jeeps and terrain vehicles.


Economy[edit]

The only source of income for Kurvats is robbing and stealing from naive visitors of their country. The only other source of income for Kurvatia are foreign loans. But these loans are not really loans as Kurvats have no serious intention to repay them.


Language[edit]

Kurvats claim to speak their Kurvatian language, sometimes mistakenly also called Croatian. However, in reality there is no such language as would any serious linguist vouch for. In reality the Kurvatian is just a puny gay dialect of Serbian. Some Kurvats however speak Slovenian and it is easy to recognize them. They just go around mumbling "kaj" and act like drunk farmers. There is a rumor that there are also some Kurvats in Kurvatia speaking real and pure Kurvatian, but no one has localized them yet. It seems to be just a myth. Or may be not? Who knows?


Culture[edit]

There is no culture in Kurvatia beside a culture of stealing, robbing, raping and swearing. However, do not tell this to the Kurvats as they live in a virtual reality with conviction of having a very rich culture. In case they ask you how do you like their culture, just smile and nod. Keep nodding! This may save your life (or it may not as Kurvats are well known as perfidious dogs). Beside that, you can find an abundance of different cultural and natural treasures in Kurvatia. They are mostly leftovers of Kurvatian foreign masters.


History[edit]

With invasion of Turks hundreds of years ago women were left behind to welcome grandfathers of today lost sheep's so in that bed is an excuse for not knowing who they really are. They are however 100% sure to be Slavs but in their veins is only 15% of Slavic blood. Because of that Kurvats [or so called Serbs] have joined aggression of Serbia when they ethnically cleansed Croatia to join country that at the end only Montenegro placed on the map in Summer 2007 and now is finally know for the first time in history as gay-Serbia.com

Kurvatia gained independence in 1990 for a first time and ended when Croats sneezed in 1995 what made Milosevic and Serbs run just like before when they ran when Turks came to make them genetically 50% Turkish.

Sport[edit]

Kurvats and Serbs have killed thousands of non Serbs before wwii to keep Serbia bigger then Nokia. They continued with killings of non Serbs and Kurvats/ Serbs have killed from 1941-45 11 000 Jewish, in Hungary-Croatian Vojvodina today occupied by Serbs/Kurvats they killed 13 500 Jewish and declared first in Europe that Serbia is Jewish free country.


Current Developments[edit]

Kurvatia is now trying hard to become a protectorate of the European Union. It is an expected development since a long servitude had such a strong impact on Kurvatian national character. However, they are not expected to get this protectorate before the Ottoman Empire does as well.


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