Kwarliputra Family

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The Kwarliputras are a family of yogis and martial arts masters residing in Bhutan. There are 8 Brothers in the family, each with their own skills, history and pupils.

Kindikama 1876-1930[edit]

Kindikama had a jolly childhood in the Himalayas, chasing Yaks off cliffs and drinking goatsmilk. But when he was only 15 a tragic event occurred that would change his life forever. The notorious vultures gang killed his parents, and chased the children away. After this event Kindikama devoted his life to following the traditional Bhutanese martial arts in the hope that one day he would wreak his vengeance on those killers of his family. Kindikama became a master of the "Dromedary style" wrestling and also became a crack shot with a rifle. He trained his brothers as well to become fierce warriors. In the year 1910 the Truffulian koala Eucalyptus-Bongo was Kindikama's pupil, this training would shape Eucalyptus' future. In 1911, Kindikama unfortunately broke all three of his legs falling down a mountain slope. His legs were permanently damaged. No longer would he be a warrior, now only a mentor. But in 1916 Kindikama discovered some truly startling information. The vulture gang's ringleaders had traveled to America, to Brockport NY in fact.

Koogukta 1879-1921[edit]

Koogukta was a master of the "gecko style" of traditional Bhutanese fighting. He served in the Bhtanese army from 1899 til 1916. Then he and Kumpadumpa embarked for America. for reasons which will be stated later, Kumpadumpa did not arrive, but Koogukta entered into the service of Burt's neighborhood paint connection, the major rival to the Shanks Brothers. In the fierce battle of 1921, Koogukta and the rest of Burt's army were blown away by a German Artillery gun fired by Armitige Shanks.

Kumpadumpa 1881-1944[edit]

Kumpadumpa practicing Crustacean style martial arts.

Kumpadumpa Kwarliputra was originally trained in the "Crustacean style" of traditional Bhutanese fighting. Kumpadumpa left Bhutan for America in 1916 with Koogukta, but while staying in Vienna, he decided to join the Austro-Hungarian army instead. From 1916-1918 he served in the Alps with an artillery squad, and went deaf. He trained his fellow soldiers in the Crustacean style as well, which explains their shockingly bad performance. After the war and the breakup of the Empire, Kumpadumpa found that the house he had purchased during the war now existed in a state called "Ukraine." Soon enough, however, the newly formed Soviet Union swallowed it up, and Kumpadumpa was treated to the Joys of Communism. He lived out the rest of his days as a factory overseer until his life was ended by a stray nazi bomb that fell on his horse as he was riding it.

Kuptaluckta 1884-1974[edit]

He was only 5 when his parents were murdered, but trained for vengeance just the same. Kuptaluckta learned the formidible "Oyster style" of Traditional Bhutanese fighting. Eventually though, he became tired of this rigorous lifestyle, and in 1912, He, Kenedict, and Kennedy ran off alone. They travelled all through the barren lands of Tibet. Kuptaluckta was famous amongst the Tibetans because he was never known to open his mouth ever in all his days. It may have had something to do with his Oyster style upbringing. In 1930 the three brothers set sail for Californ-I-A, as it was called where they were born. They spent the years from 1930 to 1950 doing odd jobs and picking pockets, but found this tiresome after 20 years. The three brothers formed a boy band called "The Shotgun Sniffers" and were medium-big hits. They toured for many years, and were most popular with Hare Krishnas and really stoned hippies. All three died in 1974 from an overdose of goatsmilk.

Kenedict 1885-1974[edit]

Kenedict's specialty was the "weevil style."

Kennedy 1886-1974[edit]

Kennedy's specialty was the "flounder style."

Kashokamagdoroki 1887-1976[edit]

Kashokamagdoroki didn't even have a specialty. He didn't take on the rigorous training of a traditional Bhutanese warrior, instead he became a Yogi, doing Yoga for years and years. Kashokamagdoroki became extremely wealthy for doing something his fellow townsfolk found silly and laughable: he had westerners pay him to teach them eastern healing and arts. His most famous clients were Josef Stalin (who was in fact his brother Kumpadumpa's dictator), John Lennon, and Oprah Winfrey. Legend has it that Oprah killed a man with her vagina. Kashokamagdoroki Kwarliputra was that man.

Kwabdillongy 1890-1914[edit]

Kwabdillongy was the rebel of the family, investing his time in neither traditional Bhutanese martial arts nor in Yoga and eastern medecines. Kwabdillongy was famous among the people of Bhutan because of his endless capacity for spirits. One of his favorite quotes was "I'd rather Burn out than fade away." Burn out he did in 1914 when he set himself on fire for a dare.

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