Kyle Busch

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“He deserves to be King more than me, but he can't wrestle and I can't drive cars.”

~ Booker T on Kyle Busch

“He has better superpowers than me and wears better underwear than me.”

~ Superman on Kyle Busch

“Where did I go wrong? Where did he go right?”

~ Kurt Busch on Kyle Busch

“To be the NASCAR champ or not to be the NASCAR champ.”

~ William Shakespeare on Kyle Busch

Kyle Busch (born on the high rollers' craps table in Las Vegas, Nevada in the year 1985) is considered to be the most homosexual person on the face of the planet. With his super senses, he can outrace Juan Pablo Montoya, Kyle Petty, and Jeff Gordon while eating a bean burrito using both of his hands. Kyle Busch was immortal until the Flying Chimpanzee stole his robot queen and put an evil Italian Formula One curse on him. In the ninth year of the third millenium, Kyle Busch will be racing for Josephine "Joe" Gibbs Racing in the Eminem Honda Civic.

Kyle Busch is one the Enlightened Ones!!! He pwns NASCAR and he pwns Formula One!!!. Miramax can go fuck themselves because this guy is on fire!!! Burn rubber baby. Woo hoo!!! Anyways, during his holidays from racing, he likes to help Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, and all those fun little mascots help children be their best (so they can race cars like Kyle Busch someday).

On Saturdays, Kyle Busch watches Pokemon, Sesame Street and Yu-Gi-Oh! (not because they're for kids, he watches them because he likes the pretty colors). There is also a movie coming soon called Kyle Busch: The Movie that takes place in the year 7002 (and the main villian is an autistic transsexual vampire). Oooh!!! Scary!!! Can Kyle Busch defeat the retarded cross-dressing pervert or is everyone doomed to wear flowered briefs?

Kyle Busch's Favorite Things[edit]

Kyle Busch's Least Favorite Things[edit]

  • 10. Kurt Busch
  • 9. George Dubya Busch (for trying to make him fight in Iraq instead of in the Daytona 500)
  • 8. Juan Pablo Montoya (because he ain't White Protestant like him)
  • 7. Forumla One people ('cause Formula One ain't a sport and NASCAR should be in the Summer Olympics)
  • 6. Jean Girard (from that Ricky Bobby movie)
  • 5. anything that is slow
  • 4. Kyle Busch
  • 3. people from Canada who don't live at least 100 miles from an oval race track
  • 2. ice hockey
  • 1. people whose last name who ends with "sson" because he thinks they're family members of Reed Sorenson

Kyle Busch's Favorite Colors[edit]

  • red
  • gold
  • green
  • blue
  • yellow