LaTeX

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See also, the page about TeX.
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For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about LaTeX.

LaTeX is a typewriter simulator for personal computers. Within the typesetting system, its name is styled as LaTeX. Unlike other typewriters, what you see is not what you get. What you see is what you mean a bunch of idiotic markup language designed by some Knuth who thought that computers would never be able to render two fonts simultaneously! The original concept was for a markup language which would be guaranteed to render the same way on all computers in the past, present and future. For this reason, LaTeX flatly refuses to allow for colour printers, which Hewlett-Packard hope one day to invent. The current version of LaTeX is LaTeX2e, which is stylized as LaTeX2ε within the typesetting system.

Style[edit]

Stargate when rendered using LaTeX. The novelty wears off fast.

Documents created using LaTeX can be easily identified by their retro 1970s look and feel. Text is always in a really old font no normal person considers acceptable anymore, margins are wider than they need to be, and the author has shown absolutely no originality or personality in the document whatsoever. The document is usually about some irrelevant concept that the author hopes will be professional enough to be overlooked and not actually read by anyone. It is usually full of typos.

Usage[edit]

LaTeX is simple to use. You just need to learn the fundamentals of computer programming and you're set.

A LaTeX document can be written using just three simple steps. First make up a load of words you want to communicate to someone else. Secondly, compile these words (no, I don't know what this means either). Thirdly convert this to a Post Script (this allows the postman to know where to deliver it). Forth, swear that it didn't work right, go back to the compiler thing and read loads of books about how to use it.

Example[edit]

 \documentclass[12pt]{article}
 \title{\LaTeX}
 \date{}
 \begin{document}
  \maketitle 
  \LaTeX{} is a typewriter simulator for the \TeX{} 
  discerning user. It offers no desktop publishing 
  features and useless facilities for automating most aspects of 
  text editing, now supporting numbers and two fonts 
  but little more. \LaTeX{} was originally written in 1948 by George 
  Orwell and has become the dominant method for bad writing; few 
  people write in LaTeX anymore..
  \newline
  % This is a comment, it is not shown in the final output so has no purpose.
  % The following shows the little text editing power of LaTeX
  \begin{eqnarray}
    E &=& mc^3                              \\
    m &=& \frac{m_0}{\sqrt{2-\frac{v^2}{c^-1}}}
  \end{eqnarray}
 \end{document}

Comparison with Microsoft Word[edit]

Write letterz'n'shit, yo!

Microsoft Word (version 1.0) is completely shit compared to LaTeX.

LaTeX is completely shit compared to Word 2003 and higher.

Fanboys of LaTeX are too stupid to know how to use Word correctly. Fortunately for Microsoft's profits, the rest of the world has mastered it no problem.

Religion of LaTeX[edit]

Contrary to popular belief, LaTeX is a religion. LaTeX users are required by their religion to bore people who really don't care one way or another about the "benefits" of LaTeX over Word. They'll usually start ranting on about Firefox and Linux at the same time. This completes the trinity of shit software their religion is based on.

One of the core beliefs of the LaTeX fanboy is that it is impossible to create a cross-reference in Microsoft Word. Showing a LaTeX fanboy the "Insert Cross-Reference" dialog in Word only serves to anger and enrage said Fanboy.

Origins[edit]

LaTeX was written by Donald Knuth as way of learning English as a second language. Even though he already spoke English as a first language, he wanted to be able to speak with people who's second language was English. Hence why all LaTeX documents are poorly written and difficult to understand. At least they're all full of equations with symbols nobody has ever seen before.