La Linea

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For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about La Linea.

La Linea was a popular Italian TV series about the life and art of Pablo Picasso and his struggle to be able to draw a straight line, much like that American movie with Joaquin Phoenix as Johnny Cash. Although very successful, the show was generally poorly received by critics for having a one-dimensional main character, unlike some great American characters such as Neo, Constantine or the guy from Speed. In 2010, James Cameron announced that his next movie will be a 3-D adaptation to the series, starring Keanu Reeves as Leon "The line" Linus, which will become the first ever 3-D comedy film in history of both 3-D cinema and of all that was funny since the creation of the universe. According to Cameron, "How the fuck such a European bullshit, with gaps in its plots that are bigger than some people's ex-wife's cunt, gets to become a timeless classic while Avatar only gets an oscar for Best Cocksucking Visual Fucking Direction, eh?"

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Cameron will dedicate the movie to the first-time female Academy-Award winner director Kathryn Bigelow, who has been rumored to have testicle cancer, which she got from Lady Gaga. Cameron said, "Now, this is much better, eh? Never forget to dedicate your movie to the little people. Now I can go home and have my Kraft Dinner." The Italian creator of the original show, however, was reportedly upset with this idea, since he didn't want anything round, and especially testicles, to stick to the La Linea franchise. He also thought that the way Cameron adapted 51 different movies into his last movie, Avatar, was totally gay and could jeopardize the straight image of his franchise. Cameron commented on the issue that "Well, another fucking gumba has something to say. Stop breaking my Jesus Christ monkey balls, eh?" The next morning Cameron woke up only to discover his beloved piranha fish deep inside his pajamas. THE END.