Lads

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A lad a young man around the age of 10-18 (though some of them stay lads till far into their adult life) usually from fairly well off or wealthy relatives/family, whom have either become influenced by peers and/or feel victimized by family and feel the need to rebel. Lads are usually found primarily in Sydney, though can stretch out far beyond the likes of Berowra, Blacktown, Gosford, Penrith and even in rural areas of New South Wales.

Lads consider themselves to be the "battlers" of Australia, and are almost ALWAYS extremely patriotic, though still respect and admire English "Chav" culture (which is highly similar) and American "Gangster" culture. Which means they listen to anything (music-wise) from American Gangster Rap, R'n'B, Australian Rap, Chav-Rap, Hardstyle, Techno, etc, though varies depending on the Lad's personal interests and taste.

Seeing as these teens are extremely patriotic towards their flag, they have often extremely racist towards others of different nationalities, ie Lebs (whom very often dress extremely similar), Asians, Arabs, etc. There are numerous recorded bashings from young Caucasian males whom fit the description of lads, to boys of other races. But more often than not, these Lads are still friendly with another races. Lads are notorious for participating in many crimes, such as stealing and often find themselves banned from the shopping centers they loiter in large groups (often in gang colours) in front of.

Lads are also known for their use of Pig Latin, which some can in fact speak fluently and understand very well. People commonly associate them with the words, "Eshay Adlay" which means, "Hes Lad".

Other facts about Lads[edit]

  • Lass is the female equivalent of a publess fag.
  • Despite being very violent, lads are usually very friendly if they know you and will almost always have your back if you're in trouble
  • Often associate with other stereo-types "Emos", Scene kids, Metal heads, stoners.
  • Lads do not try to copy Leb and African Americans... In fact their cultures are EXTREMELY different. Though it is questionable if they copied or were influenced by Chavs.
  • The lad will almost always go out with a younger girl, most likely year 7, just because "THE SEX IS FUKKEN GOOD AYE"
  • Will type like "madd ayeeeeeee brah yerrrrrrrrrr"

“"Why did the lad cross the road? To beat up the chicken."”

~ The smart Aussie kid who hates lads

“"Why did the other lads cross the road? The chicken won."”

~ The smart Aussie kid who saw it happend

History of Lads[edit]

"Lads" have always been around, however, they have not always been called lads. Throughout the history of Sydney, Melbourne and even Brisbane, subcultures that feel the need to be on the social fringe have always existed. Prior to lads there have been; skin-heads and bombers (They wore 90's tracksuits that looked like bomber jackets). The modern lad that we know now originated from the lowest form of human life, junkies. Junkies broke into wealthy people's homes and apart from stealing items of value like jewelry, phones, cash and anything else they could get their hands on, they went for clothes. This was because passing out in a gutter with a needle in your arm resulted in them falling victim to the harsh weather conditions. When these junkies stole clothes, the people they stole from, were people who would generally wear brands like Nautica, polo, Tommy Hillfiger etc. This is where the stereotypical image of a lad wearing polo shirts came from. Generally the shirts were oversized because they were stolen (this is why lads wear shirts that are stupidly big). The trackies and runners combo remained their clothing of choice because finding pants and shoes that fit was too hard, so they just kept their old junkie clothes on the bottom half. This slowly evolved into a style of clothing that other low-life and wannabe rebels saw as desirable. And over time it developed into mostly rich kids getting mum and dad buy them nautica polos and caps with trackies and tn's.

note to the police of Australia

Species of Lads[edit]

There are several Sub-Species in the Species Lad

  • Private Lads (Oftsay Ockcay)
  • Public Lads (ediocaremay orecay)
  • No-School Lads (cutulyaay ightfay)
  • The Juicy Lad(OMG man, OI MISS !)

Private Lads[edit]

A sub-species that mainly populates the north shore area of Sydney. Highly harmless, but approach with extreme caution. Although they can't do any physical damage, they can lower your IQ just by looking at you. They can either be found in Chatswood and Padstow, the foreshore, behind dumpsters near the school, or inside any all-boys private school. They are slow-witted and of low intelligence. Their style of attack mainly consists of forgetting the use of their limbs and trying to crush you under their overweight bodies. This tactic is prone to failure due to the fact that they can be outrun by snails. Highly unathletic, Private Lads cannot run more than five meters in short, two- minute bursts, due to a combination of diet high in fat, lung cancer from durries, and the fact that they're so unused to doing anything for themselves that they've forgotten how to. Private lads are the only subdivision that are not immune to physical harm, and are in fact not superheroes. Very few Private lads live long enough to be able to buy their own goon, and pass away from lung cancer before they hit 18.

The Private Lads usually wear Nuatica tee-shirts, Nike Tn's and canterbury(CCC) track suit pants or shorts. Private Lads will always travel in packs of three or in multiples of three to make sure they always have at least three more people on their side than the twelve-year-olds they try and beat up. Try being the optimal word in this case.

Public Lads[edit]

Public Lads are lads from public schools. Whilst mostly habib harmless, they are still more dangerous than Private Lads, due to the fact that they understand the concept of a punch. Public Lads mainly dominate the inner-suburbs and inner-west domain. Public Lads have been linked to petty theft, but these claims have been dismissed due to the fact that this would take co-ordination and effort on their part.

Public Lads do throw their weight around a lot more than Private Lads, and will commonly get in fights with Private Lads. Fights like this usually turn into a fight of intelligence vs. strength, seeing as the average private school lad will have an I.Q of around 8 points--12 more than the average Public Lad--whereas the Public Lad does use his limbs when fighting. Public lads will normally travel around in packs of two or multiples of two, occasionally forming a group of five on the account of them double counting a member.

Usually spotted around western Sydney areas such as Cabramatta, Wentworthville, Parramatta, Blacktown, Greystanes, and Merrylands, in the areas of Hornsby or Liverpool, or any area where you can shoplift counterfeit Nautica clothing.

No-School Lads[edit]

No-School Lads are ferocious beasts with an understanding of year 2 math and English. They are actually the smartest lads, which is ironic considering that they have a completely free education. No-School Lads are highly "street smart" and are very dangerous when disturbed. No-School Lads commonly populate the outer suburbs, the inner city, the outer west as well as Bankstown and Blacktown and Penrith.

No-School Lads are the most dangerous of all lads due to the fact that they usually carry knives and knuckle-dusters. They are extremely dangerous and normally will beat up all 'lesser lads' they come across. Some No-School Lads are known to carry fireballs around. They have been known to commit petty and serious theft as well as grand theft auto.

They are extremely common in the Central Coast city of Gosford, just north of Sydney but are known to come all the way down the coast to the Sydney suburb of Hornsby, where they reek havoc with their trolley poles and general atmosphere. No-School Lads are also extremly popular in Western Sydney areas, such as Mount Druitt, Bidwill, Shalvey, Wilmot and Penrith.

No-School Lads will always travel singularly except when they form up a gang to do some serious damage.

The Language of Lads[edit]

The Lads language is a complex language seemingly comprised of basic English and Pig Latin. If you were to ever talk to a Lad--which would require approaching them, which in itself is extremely pointless... Anyway, if you were to ever talk to a Lad, here are some helpful phrases that might help you out.

When speaking lad you must remember the T is always silent and the phonic 'es' is elongated and becomes 'ezz' as in Durriezz

  • SPELLING /PRONUNCIATION /TRANSLATION
  • ESHAYYYS /ESHAYZZS Positive word "esyays" used to describe themselves
  • What-Cunt /Wha-Cunnn /I beg your pardon (enemy)
  • Punch on /Pun-chon /A physical altercation
  • Durries /Duriezzs /A cigarette
  • Winey Blues /Winey Bluez /see above
  • Adlays /Adlayz /Lads
  • What Breh /What-Breah /I beg your pardon (friend or fellow lad)
  • get your pads on /Get-ya padz on Miss /Get over PMS
  • Ballers /Ballerz-a /Basketball Player
  • i'll fight you /I'lfight u /To fight someone
  • lets go punch cones /Lets go down to the foreshore /Lets go get high at school because we play by our own rules
  • Smart Arse Emo Cunt /Smart ass emo cun /Stop standing up for yourself it hur...OH SHUT UP YOU LOSER

If you don't understand any other Lad-speak keep in mind most nouns will be changed into pig latin except for: Fag, Durries, Foreshore, cones, ballers, pads, miss, sir, mum, dad, whipping boy, cunt and bitch.

Scientific signifigance[edit]

When the lads were "discovered" early in 21st century, it was widely believed to be the scientific discovery of the century. Due to the fact that they were first "discovered" on the 1st of January at 3:00 am 2000 might have led to this claim. The support for this also comes from the fact that 21 hours later the title was removed for the realisation that Y2k didn't kill everyone on the planet.

At first, biologists and paleontologists were skeptical claiming that someone had just shaved an orangutan. Later it was proven that Lads were in fact a different species due to orangutans' superior intelligence. Several excuses were made by the scientific population in defense for not finding out about lads sooner. A program began to help save the Lads from extinction by planting select creatures in Melbourne. They were quickly eradicated by Feral Emos.

This caused the "APOL" movement (Australia's Protection Of Lads) to try and make Lads an endangered species. Unfortunately, all the people who could do anything were to busy trying to prove that the Tasmanian tiger still existed.

GABBA: The Gabba is a dance that is predominently used by lads. It goes with hardstyle and some other assorted hard music. exaple shown here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4n-v5z1US-4&feature=player_embedded HAKKEN: Lads overseas dance similar to the gabba but is called hakken, involves different feet movement.

TRAIN: Relatively new to the rave seen only some lads can perform the train.