Lake Ontario

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Lake Ontario is believed to be a corruption of the native words "On Terror Row", an apt phrase coined after an all-night bender during which a little too much of the "shining waters" (firewater) had been allowed to flow.

Ontario, pronounced On-Tear-Ee-Oh was first shaped on the planet earth when the evil killer monkeys, who were trying to take over the world, accidentally send an atomic ray down to what is today known as new york, forming a crack and later allowing water to flow in. It is called a great lake because when people are told about it they go "Grrrreeeeeaaat" (yes there is only a slight bit of sarcasm there). Basically no one, with the exception of New Yorkers/Canadians near lake ontario and people who devote their lives to looking at stuff move very slowly (watching grass grow for instance) actually gives a flying fudge about this lake

Lake Ontario occupies a unique geopolitical position relative to Buffalo, known as drinking downstream of the herd.


The Great Lakes
Lake Erie - Lake Superior - Lake Michigan - Lake Ontario - Lake Huron
The Not-so-Great Lakes
Lake Titicaca - Lake Spooky - Lake Champlain