Lancea Longini

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The Lancea Longini is the Roman name for the Lance of Longinus, also called the Spear of Longinus, AKA the Spear of Destiny. It is named after its inventor, the Italian soldier Longinus, who came up with the idea when he impaled the cold dead corpse of the Immortal Son of God with his lance. This got icky Christ-blood all over the lance, thus imbuing it with all of the Son of Man's superpowers. These superpowers (atk+110, def+10, magdef+5, agi+5, 2-handed, holy elemental) made the Lance highly valuable (30-40 Stones of Jordan), which is why it was ignored for the next 1,900 years in favor of the Shroud of Turin.

Storia della Lancia[edit]

The Lance was rediscovered by Ikari Gendo in 1938. Its amazing powers were first used by Walt Disney to conquer the world, a feat that he later said he would have failed at in 1945 if not for the Lance. Though our beloved animator now sleeps in Japan awaiting the day when he will once again be called upon to exterminate the Jewish people, he would not have lived to see such technology without the Lance.

Right before falling asleep, Disney hid the Lance, but left hidden clues about its location on the back of the Katsuragi Scrolls. These clues were deciphered in 1998 by the secret organization SEELE, who later dispatched the Vienna expedition to retrieve it from Antarctica. It's an unfortunate coincidence that the expedition was at the exact impact site of the fireball that wiped out most of the world's population in 1999.

The Lance spent the next several years somewhere at the bottom of the Katsuragi Ocean. It was re-rediscovered in 2014 by Pikachu and currently resides in a museum in Antarctica. Contrary to popular rumors, it was not involved in the mysterious attacks on Vienna by giant space monsters from 2014-2015, and it especially wasn't involved in the mysterious temporary transformation of the entire world's population into Juicy Juice in 2015.