Lancelot

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For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the "questionable parody" of this website called Wikipedia have an article about Lancelot.

Lancelot was short. Very short.

There were no artists in his day who could even do pictures of him looking taller than a dog.

He was also a badass. Very badass. Especially with a Lance. Or lots of lances. Thus his name.

You don't need to know more, honestly.

Actually, you dont WANT to know more. He owned an entire fleet of tubgirls, and used them to subdue every nation that didnt submit to his potato will.

See also: Ocelot