“GIVE ME THE GOD DAMN KITTY CAT BRACELET!!!!!!”
Born as No one, Nobody has been shrouded in mystery, to the extent that his parentage, and even the date of his birth, are completely unknown. His talents are endless and he possesses the largest ego in the known universe. The reason for the obscurity of his continued existence is believed to be linked to the fact that he made himself nameless.
Some rather uppity, disenchanted women have complained that Nobody is a man. However, Nobody is perfect, and cares about everything and anything in the world, which suggests otherwise.
The sound of the one hand clapping was the first in a series of discoveries he made. He went on to discover the whole truth, the philosophers stone, the meaning of life, the secret of happiness, the Fountain of Youth and the secret of success.
Nobody was around to hear a tree falling in a forest, but Nobody thought to ask if it made a sound.
Franz Kafka wrote about nobodies. This is not remarkable, however, as Kafka wrote about all sorts of stuff that Nobody really liked.
His unusual exploits drew the attention of the Illuminati, whom he as yet keeps eluding. They almost got him when they sent the Spanish Inquisition after him during his successful trip back in time, but to their dismay he expected them and escaped in time.
When he was 10 years old, he had mastered art and hacking. With his excellent skills he peacefully convinced the furries and wapaneses to leave DeviantART and turned it into a full-Fledged art site.
When he was 23 years old, he became a senator and passed SOPA. This has caused the downfall of the internet. Surprisingly, this was quite welcome. Because he is nobody.
He had travelled back in time with Doctor Who to destroy the Nazis, the Japanese and the Fascists, thus stopping World War II from happening.
He also proved the existence of Jesus. This was still largely remains unknown, however, due to the information long lost because of some religion related reason.
- NOBODY has nothing.
- NOBODY can lift himself
- NOBODY witnessed Orbos the Planet Destroyer actually destroying a planet.
- NOBODY is an island.
- NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition!
- NOBODY can hear you scream.
- NOBODY likes you.
- NOBODY understands women.
- NOBODY cares.
- NOBODY likes Mondays.
- NOBODY will live forever.
- NOBODY loves you.
- NOBODY likes this list, but other people do.
- NOBODY puts Baby in a corner. Seriously, Nobody does. He's a bastard like that.
- NOBODY destroyed the Russian Mafia obshchak.
Nobody once ran for President, and although he didn't get in, he is still remembered as the best candidate yet. During his campaign, he said:
- "Vote for Nobody this election! Because…
- NOBODY is an honest politician.
- NOBODY deserves your vote.
- NOBODY will do the right thing.
- NOBODY will do what is best.
- NOBODY believes in right and wrong.
- NOBODY will do what you want!"
Unfortunately, Nobody took this seriously, which ensured Nobody voted.