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Common Lasagna Recipe[edit]

1. A Pan (optional) 2. Sauce (A meat in the sauce would be nice, preferably fresh human flesh) 3. Goat Testicle (Adds a good texture) 4. Orange juice (Get your vitamin C) 5. Cheese (Straight from the Colombian cheese tree) 6. Noodles (just wouldnt be right without them) 7. Fresh Earth (To top it all off)

How to Eat Lasagna[edit]

Mayan Lasagna Eating Ritual[edit]

There is a very sacred/ancient/slightly retarded way to eat Lasagna if your Mayan. First you follow the recipe given above. Then they all dance around the lasagna while it is cooking (which usually takes about 4-48 hours) When it is done, if they haven't all died of hunger waiting for it, is engage the Lasagna in sexual intercourse. This will take another day, as the tribes are very large. When that is finally done, the Lasagna will be mutilated beyond recognition or moldy or stolen by a rabid monkey.

American Lasagna Eating Ritual[edit]

Grab eating utensil (which can be a spoon, fork, hand, shovel, blowtorch, handgun, etc) then stick the utensil into lasagna. Then put utensil into mouth, being careful to keep the lasagna on the eating tool while it enters your mouth. Repeat these steps very quickly and continuously until the entire lasagna is gone, leaving none for your elderly relatives or children, or younger siblings, or pet rhinoceros.

The Aftermath of Eating Lasagna[edit]

If cooked wrong, the aftermath of Lasagna can be a terrible thing. Some symptons include, increased blood pressure, diarrhea, tail growth, inability to smell onions, pregnancy, kindney stones, breast cancer, and in some extreme cases, sudden urges to participate in kitten huffing. Please at all costs make sure that your lasagna is cooked by a trained professional, or someone that has thoroughly read this article, and knows how to properly prepare lasagna.

Lasagna Dishes Clean Up[edit]

(see "Doing the Dishes")

Why You should eat lasagna[edit]


~ Garfield on Why you should eat lasagna

Lasagna is a very tasty, delicous, nutritous, orgasmic, tasty, intelligent, kind, and tasty meal for everyone. The next time you go out to a movie and see everyone eating lasagna, you ask someone that and see how stupid you look. Of course they won't share there lasagna with you, so next time you see your cannibal friends, ask them to make you some tasty lasagna.

Doing the Dishes[edit]

(see "Lasagna Dishes Clean Up")