Last Days Of Humanity
Popular amongst the sick, dying, disabled and severely crippled/disfigured, Last Days Of Humanity is proven by health scientists to be the most happy and uplifting form of music in the world. The band has been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for inspiring so many people that killing is wrong. In their videos they show the benefits of letting people live long and happy lives, such as working as a community to build new houses etc. The lead soprano singer Hans Smits said they called their band Last Days of Humanity because: "After we do the nicest and bestest and most lovingest things we can to each other, Jesus will evolve us from humans into gay leprichauns during those last days". They are noted for their extremely positive and socializing tracks such as "Unification In Progress" and "The Swallowing of Feaces" which shows their love for nature. The band however has received criticism of being Communists and "Tree-Huggers" by people who use The Internet.
A Long Time Ago in a Galaxy Far Away
45 billion years ago, when the Earth formed, the great gods of Warcraft (with the help of Chuck Norris) decided to make a race of people called the humans. So they created the DNA with knowledge of their own language Gobbledegook (Later named Dutch) along with sugar, spice and everything nice. They lived at the edge of the universe so they needed Chuck Norris to roundhouse kick a meteor containing the DNA through space to Earth, careful not to destroy it. The meteor hit smack dab in the middle of the ocean, imploded the Well of Eternity and created the continents. The first primitive human beings, ironically the band members of Last Days of Humanity emerged from the sea. Almost immediately afterwards, a recording studio fell from the sky and killed their friend who wasn't going to be in the band, but claimed to know the meaning of life. After his death, they were determined to find out about judgement day. They began to make their music in the studio and founded the religion of Christianity. It was during this time they named the land they lived on, The Netherlands (Because they thought they were so cool being the first humans on Earth and thought they deserved a name that sounds like it's from World of Warcraft) and named their language Dutch. Little did they know, it was the gods of Warcraft who made their DNA, which probably explains how they knew about it in the first place.
Last Days of Humanity have been making music for billions of years, but they finally landed their first record deal with Gulli Records in 1994. Vocalist Hans Smits said "I was getting impatient". They have released 18 albums during their career, but also claim to have "OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAAAND!!!" Unreleased albums which have never seen the light of day. During this time they became increasingly impatient because their prophecy wasn't coming true. The band broke up in 2007 because of this and became Jews.
The English Wikipedia doesn't even have a page on them because they suck, so here.