Lazy Object Oriented Programming

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“Go away I'm trolling /b/-tards”

~ Donald Knuth on Lazy Object Oriented Programming

The basic method of Lazy Object Oriented Programming is:

Person clone = new Person(me);
clone.doWork();

Building armies of clones[edit]

Sometimes an army of clones is required to work on a project. in this case the doWork method will look something like:

void doWork() {
  Person clone = new Person(this);
  (new Thread()).run(clone.doWork);

  /* TODO: insert work processing here */
}

It is assumed the clones will fix all bugs in themselves and therefore will not create an infinite number of clones

Use of Lazy Programming in the Real world[edit]

Universities[edit]

Computer science students are at the forefront of use of Lazy Object Oriented Programming. This is because they are are less interested in programming and want to get back to fragging some noobs and leeching movies.

Professors, unlike their students, despise the use of Lazy Object Oriented Programming. They see it as another way of reducing the cruelty they can force upon the unsuspecting undergrads.

Lazy Object Oriented Programming is almost entirely unknown to departments outside of computer Science. This is because everyone from the Computer Science department is too lazy to mention it to anyone else.

That job place[edit]

As all practitioners of Lazy Object Oriented Programming are, by definition, lazy they spend most of their time playing World of Warcraft and trolling 4chan from their Mothers basement. Because of this all uses of Lazy Object Oriented Programming in companies is completely accidental.

Despite the lack of practitioners many companies have attempted to implement Lazy Object Oriented Programming practices. These companies have found that not long after implementation many programmers find they have time to be outside while the day star is still in the sky. This causes confusion on what the resolution is and how they managed to render so many polygons. This makes all but the most senior programmers, who claim to remember a time before the internet, to go insane. As nobody listens to the senior programmers they are unable to manage the armies they have built up. This army of computer clones takes over almost all other areas of the company. The only survivors are middle management as they had no use anyway so the clones thought they would be safe. Without any upper management the middle managers promote themselves however find they are too incompetent and cause the company to go out of business thus killing the cloned programs and saving the world.

The irony[edit]

This article should be placed under ironic. This is because if one is lazy, then one wouldn't, ah fuck it. I'll finish this later.

Alternative Implementations[edit]

C[edit]

struct person me;

void doWork(void) {
  struct person *clone;

  clone = newClone(&me);
  clone->implementObjectOrientedProgrammingInC();
  clone->doWork();

  /* TODO: insert work processing here */
}

Note: The first clone rewrites it's self to not need to reimplement Object Oriented Programming in C

See Also[edit]

include *.h;
Monabeanhalffinished.jpg This article has a good idea and concept, but isn't finished. You can do something about it.

OOP for the truly lazy