Leet deficiency disorder
Leet Deficiency Disorder (1337 |)3|=![!3|\|<'/ |)!$0|2|)32) Is a psychological disorder that affects people, making them seem like an inexperienced computer user. The disorder is different from what most n00bz are, as people with 1337 Deficiency have much difficulty overcoming the disorder.
- Extreme n00bish behavior. (i.e. bunny hopping, dolphin diving, awping, overexcessive trash talking with nothing to back it up, etc.)
- A genuine fear (almost to the point of being a phobia) of true Hax0rz(/-/4><0|2z)
- Anxiety pertaining to computer games/hardware
- Lack of knowledge pertaining to computer games/hardware and the obnly knowledge had is common knowledge or a widely accepted public opinion (i.e. NVIDIA is better than ATI, Nintendo Gamecube is a sissy console, etc.)
- Creation of very crappy fake clans (i.e. the "El Paca Squad" in Houston, Texas. Note the misspelling of Alpaca)
- Failure to understand 1337speak or an absolute need to use cheat sheets to speak in 1337.
- Constantly getting pwned or pwning but people with 1337 defieciency can only pwn when using extreme n00bish behavior (see above). They also can only pwn against bots or true n00bz, or new users to the game.
- Constant practice but no advancement as far as h4x0r sk1llz.
- Constant declaration of h4x0r skillz to other users, followed by getting pwned by the other users.
- Mispronunciation or misspelling of 1337speak words (i.e. saying "nub" instead of n00b, saying "poon" instead of pwn)
In addition to these, people with 1337 deficiency claim real knowledge but take their "skillz" from whatever they read, i.e. Computer magazines, forums, etc.. The taking of popular views as one's own is not an actual symptom when diagnosing but is a sign of trouble, especially if it keeps up for over a year.
Depending on how the psychologist diagnosis the disorder, there are 4 spectrums of treatment, these include:
- Spectrum 1: Treatment includes regular (usually bi-monthly) classes with a true h4x0r to learn skillz and overcome handicaps. People in this spectrum will usually be cured within a year, if not, move on to spectrum 2.
- Spectrum 2: Spectrum 2 treatment takes the classes with h4x0rz and makes them more regular, usually once a week, and also adds focus-enhancing supplements to help the patients concentrate better and learn faster. Also included in this spectrum is the addition to homework in the h4x0r classes and group LAN lock-ins once a month to polish off skillz against each other. If patients show little to no improvement after 8 months in spectrum 2 treatment after their spectrum 1 treatment, they are moved to spectrum 3.
- Spectrum 3: Patients in this spectrum still use classes with true h4x0rz but are intensified to at least one class a week with extras whenever possible. Along with the focus supplements, patients falling under this spectrum usually suffer from severe anxiety and require anti-anxiety medication. Often times, patients are given a prescription of clemix neleetnus, commonly known as "1337 Pills", that prevent n00bish behavior and enhance focus further. Patients in this category are put into the monthly group LAN lock-ins but stay an extra 2 hours after the spectrum 2 patients leave to improve their skillz. If no improvement is shown after 2 years of treatment, spectrum 4 is needed.
- Spectrum 4: Commonly known as "the last resort". This inludes a repeat of spectrum 3 treatment for an extra 6 months. If no improvement is shown, patients are put to death by their choice of firing squad or by being fed to sharks.
- Famous people who have overcome 1337 deficiency include: Dr. Phil, Weezer, Bill Gates, and Ronald McDonald.
- Battlefield 2 has the highest number of people with 1337 deficiency actively playing it.
- Approximately 1/17 of Counter-Strike players have 1337 deficiency along with 1/7 of Battlefield 2 players, 3/23 of World of Warcraft players, and 1/44 of Unreal Tournament players
- Approximately 1/3 of regular console players (1/2 of them beingXbox players) have 1337 deficiency.
- Asians very rarely suffer from 1337 deficiency with only 3% of documented cases being among Asians while African-Americans have the highest number of cases with 71% of all cases.
- The 1337 Deficiency Society of America (1DSA) automatically puts people on watch lists who own subscriptions to PC Gamer magazine, PC Magazine, and if more than 7 pre-made avatars have been downloaded from a website. (note: to be put on the watch list a person must fit all 3 criteria) The 1DSA also provides free 1337 Deficiency awareness classes and free diagnoistics tests to people on their watch lists.