Legend of Zelda: Orgy of Time

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The Legend of Zelda: The Orgy of Time was a screenplay for a porno written by Hayao Miyazaki. It was intended to take place during the Crusades; its cast including: a German Knight "Link Sausage", a French princess, "Zelda Putain Stupide", and a Saracen sorcerer "Ganon Musaab Al Faggi". The intended cast included Johnny Depp as Sir Link Sausage, Marilyn Monroe as Zelda Putain Stupide, and Mr. T as Ganon Musaab Al Faggi. It was this screen play that Zelda: the Ocarina of Time was derived.

The Nintendo deal[edit]

After completing the screenplay, his scientologist Minister, Tom Cruise pointed out that pornography was not the way, he suggested that Miyazaki should burn it and blame it on the catholic church seeing as the church had a nasty habbit of burning everything they didn't like. tom Cruise also suggested he sue, seeing as that was a popular thing to do in the Scientologist community. But in all actuality, Miyazaki sold his pornographic screenplay to the pussies at Nintendo, who would inevitably convert it to some nonsense about good versus evil.

The Plot[edit]

Template:Spoilers Through out the porno Link Sausage makes love to Zelda Putain Stupide while attempting to defeat a series of Arabic sex slaves sent by Ganon Musaab Al Faggi through the use of the Master Dildo, the legendary sex toy hidden in the temple of worldly pleasures. The entire time he is attempting to return to his French Princess and fully penetrate her before Ganon Musaab Al Faggi does, while Link Sausage is distracted by the Arabic whores. Near the end of the story, Link Sausage discovers that Ganon Musaab Al Faggi is still a Saracen.