Lemming Cookery

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search

Lemming Cookery[edit]

Lemming cookery is a fine art practised by many insane Norwegians, videogame players, and Chuck Norris.

Here we will show you some of the better recipes invented for the express purpose of taking the lemmings' discarded physical bodies.

Please note that not even Baldrick would eat these.

The Lemmilkshake[edit]

  1. First, select your lemming. A fat, somewhat dirty one is most desirable, although anything will do.
  2. Scrape the remnants off the jagged rocks and put in blender.
  3. Place in glass with milk and ice cream (if no ice cream is available, use chilled Oscar Wilde.)
  4. Serve to someone you don't like very much.

The Lemmington[edit]

  1. Scrape the lemming off the rocks.
  2. Cover in thin chocolate icing
  3. Dust with coconut
  4. Throw away.


  1. Take the lemming
  2. Grind it up really small (it'll jump right into the blender)
  3. Mix with soda
  4. Sell to Simple Plan


  1. Take a nice short, fat lemming
  2. Place it in the blender and mix for 38 hours
  3. When blended scrape out and place in the microwave for another 38 hours
  4. Then freeze in lime juice overnight
  5. Remove from freezer and eat shaved over your favorite dishes