From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search

"Thanks for your overly-lengthy visit." Oscar Wilde on someone


Length was determined by Isaac Newton as being the amount of space occupied by across all the planes and volume of a dimension as measured by a singlularly linear protractor...or...at least I think it is.


Maybe an example will clarify it. If I take a spool of thread, it has no weal length. That is because it is a coil. This shouldn't be confused with mortal coil, because one is shaped like a spring and the other is shaped like a person's life. I think. Anyhow, If you unroll the thread from the spool...let's see...OMG a knot! Anyhow, if you don't get a knot, you succeeded in making a length of thread. This can be used for sewing, measuring, or tying your fingertip tight so it turns blue!! Lengths are very useful, see?

Another example is parking a car. If you car is length A, and the distance between tow cars along the curb is B, you can park there. That is, unless B is smaller than A, then you may have problems because you'll hit the other cars. That's why length is important to know!!


length was invented twelve years ago, just for me. I was crying because I didn't like math. My teacher told me how to use it in a way that would apply to the real world. She said: "Let me let you in on a secret called length. It's a wonderful thing that shows you how to do other things. Take this apple. Is it bigger or smaller than your hand? Bigger, you said? That's right, and so you can also say it is longer in the same way your hand is shorter. Now, if i set it over there, try to reach for it. Can't reach it, can you? That's because the length of your arm is less than the length to the apple. Now, gind that length, and subtract the length of your arm from it. You should get a number."

"But what does that number mean?" I asked her.

"It's how long of a stick you need to get to reach the apple."

and thus length was created.

coincidentally, lengthy is something that this article is not. I hope it was as educational to you as to me.

lengthy links list[edit]