Lenny Henry

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Hey! Wacky!

Leonardo "Lenny" Henry is a comedian usually seen on a box in the living room of British people sometimes being funny. But usually not.

The Early Years[edit]

Lenny Henry was born in England after his parents were sent from Jamaica for coming up with such a horrifying name. The early Romans would use his birth as the signal to invade Europe and called him "Henry Lenny Henry" but became confused and changed it back to "Lenny Henry". Upon changing his name back the entire Roman Empire forgot what his birth signalled so instead stayed in Rome for a further 300 years pondering what they should do.

In the meantime Lenny Henry got on with the job of being a badass comedy pimp. He co-hosted the show Tiswas from 1978 - 1981. In this time Lenny Henry realised the great power he could attain from having children like and worship him. He began plotting a plan to become a figure of worship for kids around the world, but in a non sexual way as this has already been tried by Gary "If you're not under twelve I am not interested" Glitter.

During his plotting Lenny Henry met his future wife, the former-planet Pluto, which went by the name Dawn French. Pluto had recently came back from tour and urged Lenny to join the alternative comedy route, which he did. Lenny made a successful stand up career, from cleverly pointing out the obvious differences between black and white 'folk'. Snippets from his show included:

"Its like when a white person will be pulling into their driveway and a brother will be climbing out of their window holding a TV, that white cracker immediately thinks a brother trying to rob him, he could be giving that cracker a TV for free"

Or the infamous

"When a white person be walking down the street and a brother with a hoody on comes up with a gun and says hand over all your stuff, the cracker immediatly thinks a brother trying to rob him, whats up with that, maybe a brother is offering to help carry his stuff, damn crackers"

Recent Work[edit]

"Fat African living it up": George the African

Recently Lenny has aspired to be the king of the world, if not reaching that, he wants to work in a shop that sells really cheap nylon pants. To achieve his dreams, Lenny, along with Bob "The Mumbler" Geldof and Bono "The Glasses" from U2, manafactured a country called Africa. Here they mass produced small stick like people giving them humourous and wonderful diseases such as AIDS, Malaria and itchy noses. Upon creating this wonder land, the three super criminals began to tell the world of the countries horrifying plight, instead of telling them what a fun, magical land it was. People from around the globe were shocked by what they saw but still didn't want to part with their money as everyone was saving up for a magical Wii.

Lenny was furious so began plotting his revenge on people. He invented 'Comic your face off relief'. This event would occur every two years, people would be plagued by large red noses and Lenny would run about screaming in a red suit. The only way to make it stop was too give him money for his beloved Africa, which he was king off.

Lenny and Pluto[edit]

Lenny married Pluto before Earth was invented but only began to really hang out with her after Mars began to act like a right knob end. It is said that Lenny got lost for the entire 90's, down Plutos (also know as Dawn French) bra. But still their love survived. In 2004, Dawn French was brought to court by France, who claimed not only wasn't she French but she was definitely not the entire French population as Pierre, the baker lived in London with his Sister Pierre. After a long legal battle, Lenny grew weary of Pluto and sought new love. He is now happily married to a small African child, called "Chat Chat Chi belo Bong", a name, which when said backwards, could destroy the Earth, or make Lenny come in his red pants, whatever happened first.

Lenny Henry's Penis[edit]

Lenny Henry's penis is 46 inches wide, a meter in length and 6 foot in diamater. One of his balls has an area of three square miles, and the other one is the size of pluto. Fortunately, Dawn French met Lenny Henry when she was scared that no cock could touch the sides of her 46 foot wide fanny.