Leopold Bloom

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Leopold Bloom
File:Leopold bloom.jpg
Personal info
Nationality American
Date of birth July 6, 1866
Place of birth Dublin, Ireland
Date of death April 1st, 2010
Place of death Hades.
First Lady Marion Tweedy
Political career
Order 46th President
Vice President Stephen Dedalus
Prime Minister Ran in 1965 election
Term of office 2009April 2010
Preceded by Nobody
Succeeded by a dumbass
Political party Novelist party


was elected the 46th President of the United States of America in November, 2008. He was sworn-in to office January 20th, 2009, and served a one year, two month and twelve day term, which was ended by his tragic death by alcohol poisoning on April 1st, 2010.

During his short reign, three major wars were waged, hundreds-of-thousands of Americans died of old age, and many Americans participated (for the first time) in sexual intercourse.

After his death, his Vice President, Stephen Dedalus, took over.[1]

Life of Leopold Bloom[edit]

Mr. Bloom married Marion Tweedy on December 21st, 1927 at Elvis's Chapel Of Love in Las Vegas, Nevada.

Road to the Presidency[edit]

On September 22nd, 2007, Henry Flower filed his candidacy for the 2008 Presidential Election.

Wars and other conflicts[edit]

The only war during Bloom's Presidency was the war within himself, whereas he violently fought his alterego, Henry Flower.

Laws passed during his Presidency[edit]

During his Presidency, Leopold Bloom fought hard and long for people with Multiple-Personality Disorder. He pushed for several laws to be passed in Congress, and rallied the United States Military to come to the aid of the dominant personality of people with MPD.

Major platforms[edit]

Leopold Bloom never built a large stage, only a few small ones and some soapboxes. However, from those soapboxes, he spoke eloquently on the subjects of the danger of Sirens, weapons of mass destruction, the lack of healthcare in America, Zeus, the Federal Deficit, and The Cyclops. He also promoted the reading of classical Greek drama and fiction by the general populace, in an effort to make us all smarter.[2]

Leopold Bloom the man[edit]

Noted historian James Joyce writes:

Mr Leopold Bloom ate with relish the inner organs of beasts and fowls. He liked thick giblet soup, nutty gizzards, a stuffed roast heart, liverslices fried with crustcrumbs, fried hencods' roes. Most of all he liked grilled mutton kidneys which gave to his palate a fine tang of faintly scented urine.

Other than the above, not much else has been written on Leopold Bloom's personal life.

Trivia[edit]

  • Did you know that Leopold Bloom once fought and defeated a cyclops?
  • Were you aware that "Did you know" was copyrighted by a book publishing company?
  • Did you previously have the information that "Were you aware" was also copyrighted by a book publishing company?
  • Some people believe Leopold Bloom to be a grue.
  • Leopold Bloom once read the entire Encyclopedia Britannica in one sitting.
  • Leopold Bloom liked cats.
  • Henry Flower was fond of being scratched behind the ear by his wife.
  • Leopold Bloom's only son, Rudy, died after 11 days.
  • Leopold Bloom often spoke in third person.
  • Henry Flower did not.

Notes[edit]

  1. Dedalus was later impeached for a scandal involving the misuse of White House staff midgets.
  2. His efforts failed, and the United States fell behind even rural Kenya in literacy rates.