Liberal Pirates

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Arrrr mates!
Whoops! Maybe you were looking for Butt pirate?

“Omg i went to see dis n it was well gud!! xoxox”

~ Pirates of the Carribean fan on Liberal Pirates


Liberal Pirates are Pirates who follow Liberalism. This is an oxymoron because liberals usually pretend to reject material things, and it is in the best interest of a pirate to loot and plunder booty. Booty, in this case, being in the literal sense of the word (The female posterior, usually referring to an african-american or "black" woman) , and not the slang sense which has more to do with material goods.

Founding and History[edit]

Barack Obama, Kermit the Frog, and the cast of Lost created founded the liberal Pirates in a quest to gain young supporters who "thought it was totally badass" to kill republicans and steal their petrodollars. Founded in the early years of the war on terror, Barack Obama, Kermit the frog and that fat guy from Lost have gained worldwide respect for robbing Dick Cheney's spine while he was awake, burning down a Chevron Oil-rig and pulling George W. Bush's pants down.

Liberal Pirates got confused when orders were given to rape the women and plunder the land. Instead they chose to plunder the women and rape the land. Some of them even tried to rape the men. After being laughed at by the other pirates, they formed their own brand of piracy known as Liberal Pirates. Rape is no longer done, due to being politically incorrect. Now instead they offer a dinner and a movie, and hope the other man or woman puts out afterwords. They still plunder, because they work for credit card companies with huge fixed rates.

Liberal Pirates hunger for two things: booty (also known as tail or ass), and a decent caramel machiatto anywhere on the east coast. Unfortunately they are not very successful at finding either.

The grand imperial wizard of liberal piracy is Al Gore. Al Gore is the quintessential liberal pirate, because he tries to stop global warming.

See also[edit]