Ling-Ling

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Linglingair.png
Ling-Ling
Japanese name Ring-Ring
Stage Basic
Evolves from Pikachu
Evolves to None
Generation Fifth
Species Battle-Monster Pokémon
Type Electric/Dark
Height 1 ft 4 in (0.4 m)
Weight 13.0 lb (6.0 kg)
Ability Static
Next Pokemon Teh Cheat
Previous Pokemon Cartman

“No! Dirty dishes, my one weakness!”

~ Ling-Ling on Dirty Dishes

“Mmm...good with ketchup.”

~ Oscar Wilde on competitive food eating

Ling-Ling (not to be confused with the hermaphrodite Panda Bear) is a species of mouse Pokémon of the electric and dark elements. They are a member of the Pikachu family due to their habits, lifestyle, move sets, kindness, acute retardation, personality, typing speed, hot dog taste, vulgar language, and the fact that when they shoot electricity, the immense power can cause the surroundings... to do nothing. Note: the player can choose to either evolve his/her Pikachu into Raichu or Ling-Ling.

Biology/Information[edit]

A wild Ling-Ling using Pwn!!

Like their cousin Pikachu, Ling-Ling have been known to inhabit caves and forests. More recently, they have been seen on the sets of reality shows. Ling-Ling are very territorial and difficult to capture. Ling-Ling are also fluent in 'Japarean'. They have been known to kill unsuspecting bystanders without warning. They are also known to have attacked and even killed their trainers if left in a Poké Ball for to long. One such case involved a Ling-Ling killing it's trainer with an electric attack moments after being let out of it's Poké Ball. The Ling-Ling in question however, denied killing it's trainer when interviewed. Due to this Pokémon's violent nature , extreme caution should be used when catching a Ling-Ling or if you own one. Also, they are not recommended as good Pokémon for novice trainers.

In Battle[edit]

A Ling-Ling charging an electrical attack.

Because of their high status and energy levels, as well as their toughness no matter how powerful the opponent is, Ling-Ling have been a common sight in Pokémon battle tournaments. Some of Ling-Ling's notable attacks include Lightning Jolt, Dark Lightning Ball,Kitten huffing, and Gigashock. When Ling-Ling is equipped with bling-blingX (given by Doomsday or Friday), it's attacks can even slay the mightiest of warriors!

Controversy[edit]

A Ling-Ling's quick attack is believed to be behind at least 2 Pokémon deaths in the Johto League.This attack also causes it to shit an exclamation mark.

Because of Ling-Lings' homicidal tendencies and some trainers claiming their Pokémon had been killed by an opponent's Ling-Ling and threatening to sue the league, Ling-Ling was banned from most official tournaments. This caused a huge controversy among trainers who had a Ling-Ling that this new rule was a violation of their civil rights, as well as the civil rights of their Ling-Ling. The Ling-Ling trainers filed a massive lawsuit against the 3 regions that banned the use of Ling-Ling in their league: Kanto, Johto, and Sinnoh. The trainers lost the lawsuit however because of the number of victimized trainers whose Pokémon were killed by a Ling-Ling that testified on behalf of the 3 regions. They also kick ass.

Recent "Britney Spears" Inccident[edit]

After leaving the "Drawn Together" house to get the groceries at the nearby L.A. store Ling Ling spotted Britney Spears leaving the parking lot. He dropped his groceries as he ran towards her car yelling "Blitney Blitney!" while holding his "Oops I Did it Again" CD. Unfortunately as he got to his car she just yelled "F**k off orange face" and she ran over his foot. Ling Ling was disappointed, however he did sell the sock he was wearing on his leg when he was run over for $150 on E-bay.

Attacks[edit]

Below is a list of attacks learned by Ling-Ling when it levels-up, as well as attacks it can learn from TM/HMs.

Level-up Attacks[edit]

Level Attack
- Thundershock
- Reality TV Attack
- Chuck Norris Roundhouse kick
1 Taco Bell Shit Fling
5 Michael Jackson Dance
7 Hasta Ra Vista baby!
10 Thunderwave
13 Eat Gnil-gnil
18 Bitch slap
24 Pwn
28 Thunderbolt
35 Crunch
37 Thunder fang
39 Faint
41 Super Dry Clean
54 Fucking Kill
62 Seizure Attack
75 Volt Tackle
90 Iron Tail
100 Thunder
200 Rat Scat Shat
300 Butterfly Kick
500 Zap Cannon
666 Rain Satan Down Your Throat And Burn Your Testicles!
777 Godmode
1000 Shoop da Whoop
1337 Über Pwn
2000 Use Princess Clara's skull for sex
5000 Thunderstorm
OVER 9000 Kamehameha!!!
50000 Fly
100000 Power Limit Breaker
100001 Mass Racial Genocide
Untendo Event The Apocalypse
Use a balloon to mildly zap someone
Divide by zero Superultramegauberpwnageattackthingmovekill

TM/HM Attacks[edit]

Ling-Ling's "Thunderbolt".
The devastating "Divide by Zero" attack.
TM/HM Attack
TM06 Toxic
TM Q Rofl
TM10 Hidden Power
TM16 Emo Razor Leaf
TM17 Protect (Balls)
TM18 Rain Dance
TM21 Double Team
TM24 Thunderbolt
TM27 Divide by Zero
TM28 Brick Break
TM31 Buttsecks
TM43 Secret Girlfriend
TM44 Masturbate
TM56 Hurl
TM57 Charge iPod
TM73 Selfdestruct
TM77 Ricochet Fireball
TM81 Godmode
TM86 Tribute
TM90 Sex up Princess Clara
TM99 Bleh
HM04 Anthrax
HM06 Death by Cuddly Kittens
HM-Divide by zero Summon Y-Men

In the Pokémon trading card game[edit]

Ling-Ling's card is banned from most Pokémon TCG tournaments because of it's power.

Ling-Ling has appeared only once in the Pokémon TCG in the "Battle Masters" series of booster packs. The Ling-Ling card is extremely rare as only 30 were ever produced because they were banned from tournaments shortly after being released because the use of such a powerful card could be considered cheating. Because of their rarity, the 30 Ling-Ling cards are highly sought by collectors. There have been reports of some collectors beating each other within an inch of each others' life for a Ling-Ling card. In fact, one trading card collector known as Jeff "Comic Book Guy" Albertson almost sold his store for a Ling Ling card. Ling-Ling has 6000 hit points (HP) and 2 powerful attacks. Ling-Ling's first attack, Asian Gibberish, which requires 1 colorless energy allows you to flip 2 coins and the attack does 100 damage times the number of heads. Ling-Ling's second attack, Sever Skull of Adversaries, which requires no energies since it is his special ability, allows you to multiply the number of fingers you have by 100, "deck" your opponent, and steal his/her cards while he/she is unconscious. Rumors that the card can grant wishes as well are currently being investigated.

In the Pokémon Anime[edit]

Ling-Ling made an appearance in the Pokémon anime episode Battle! Pikachu vs. Ling-Ling in which Ash and Pikachu meet a powerful trainer known as W. Sockbat who claims that nobody has beat him and that those who tried suffered "tragic" defeats. Being the gullible trainer he is, Ash challenges W. Sockbat to a battle. Ash decides to use Pikachu, while Sockbat uses a Ling-Ling. The episode was never aired in the US due to graphic violence depicting Ling-Ling beating Pikachu within an inch of his life. But Pikachu still wins, and Ling-Ling takes his anger out on W. Sockbat, killing him. The episode was deemed to violent to air.

See also[edit]


Drawn Together cast

Wooldoor Sockbat - Foxxy Love - Ling-Ling - Spanky Ham