Lions Club

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search

The Lions Club was founded by Emperor Nero in 60 A.C. as a means of controlling the spread of Christianity. In the Southern United States it is known as the Ku Klux Klan and rides horses instead of lions.

For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article very remotely related to Lions Club.

Famous lions to be members include:

  • The MGM lion.
  • The producers of Whose Lion Is It, Anyway?
  • The inventors of "All our lions are busy, please hold..." voicemail systems.

While tigers are not authorized to be full members of the Lions Club, some honourary members include:

  • Tony the Tiger.
  • The Giant Tiger (of department-store fame).
  • The members of Canadian schlock-rock band Glass Tiger
  • The Esso "tiger in your tank" (actually just a blatant rip-off of Tony).

As a service club which eats Christian soldiers for breakfast, the Lions Club is considered to be one of Nero's more important accomplishments, restoring to lions a status which they hadn't enjoyed since the days of the biblical Daniel.

In modern times, Nero is best known for his invention of the DVD-RW burner, but we will always remember him along with the score at the Coliseum:

Lions 1 Christians 0

Related Articles[edit]