Lipsonia

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search

THIS ARTICLE HAS BEEN CLEANSED OF TRUTH LIES BY THE LIPSONIAN MINISTRY OF TRUTH
Adding lies to this article may result in deformation of your limbs
The Former Socialist Republic of Lipsonia
Flag of lipsonia.JPG

The National Flag of Lipsonia
Motto In Nuclear Fission We Trust
Official languages Lipsonian English. And Pain.
Capital Footskria.
Race 5% Lipsonian, 5% KGB, 90% Mutant Lipsonian.
Religion Socialism, Communism and the Religion of LIPPS, INC.
Declared Independance 1999 (from USSR)
National anthem Funky Town by LIPPS, INC.
Exports Pain, Deformities, and also a large volume of Vaseline.
Official Cuisine Tumour In Brine
National bird Flightless, Wingless, Cancer-wracked Pigeon.
Ruling Party Smog Party
President El Gorwe
Population Unknown
Area IT'S OVER 9000!!!! sq. km
Currency The Lipsonian Lipenchoter (Sheep's Scrotum)
National Sports Running from Mutants, and also Badminton
Country Code .lip

“Lipsonia is a great place. Apart from the dangerous amount of nuclear activity, a great place.”

~ deformed mutant on Lipsonia.

Is it true that Lipsonia has the largest amount of nuclear power plants in the whole world?[edit]

Yes. Here's a handy map!


Lipsonia, before more power plants were built.

Lipsonia is the only country in the world that has more nuclear power plants than non-mutant people. Lipsonians are very proud of this achievement and will often celebrate through the ancient art of salkaarg (turkey slapping). Why they do this is currently unknown, but they seem to rather enjoy it.

Will I need any vaccinations before visiting Lipsonia?[edit]

Lipsonia has often caused the weary lucky traveller to receive a disease that hasn't even been discovered yet. Vaccinations are not necessary, because the only diseases you'll catch are the ones caused by exposure to nuclear radiation. If you wish to leave Lipsonia with the same amount of limbs you had upon entry, the following places should not be visited, as they are known to cause nuclear radiation poisoning;

If you feel woozy or sick at any time, it is only natural. Don't bother to see a doctor, as it will only result in amputation.

What language is spoken in Lipsonia?[edit]

Most surviving Lipsonian citizens suffer from lip deformations, and the Lipsonian language (traditionally English) sounds more like murmuring. Eg. "Pass me the cat, please Dora" becomes "Pissemecashe, Plora", or more commonly a coughing fit as most Lipsonians have heavily deformed lungs.

If you understand what any Lipsonian person is saying, it is recommended you visit doctor immediately.

What should I visit in Lipsonia?[edit]

Most people visit Lipsonia by accident, or as a means of suicide. If you are visiting purely for pleasure, there are few things to see or do. A visit to Lipsonia's capital, Footskria, can never go astray, as visitors never leave! (Either because their new found deformities prohibit them, or because they are dead.) Visiting one of the many nuclear power plants can also be a thrill, but don't bet that you won't be deformed in some way upon exit, because you will - it's the way things work.

Wait a minute, how can I be deformed if they have such excellent safety features in nuclear power plants?[edit]

The Lipsonian government's official stance on nuclear power plants is that they are 100% safe facilities, and so they deliberately remove all safety features from the designs, reciting the old Lipsonian proverb: Ich nein gaud, tellit getaucked (If it's going to cost more money, tell them to get f**ked). The government avoids liability for any deformation caused by stating that most Lipsonians are deformed in some way, and so if you are also deformed then you are now normal by Lipsonian standards - and also eligible for citizenship

What is the government like in Lipsonia?[edit]

Lipsonians recently voted in the 'Smog Party', a political party dedicated to furthering Lipsonia's nuclear power developments. The president of Lipsonia, and head of the Smog Party, is El Gorwe - a Lipsonian immigrant stolen from the streets of New York to govern this horribly hopeless delightful country.

The Smog Party


Should I Visit Lipsonia?[edit]

Honest answer- no. YES OF COURSE!

Commonwealth of Independent States - Former USSR Republics
Russia ~ Belarus ~ Ukraine ~ Estonia ~ Latvia ~ Lithuania ~ Moldova ~ Mordova ~ Azerbaijan ~ Kazakhstan ~ Kyrgyzstan / Krgystan ~ Mongolistan ~ Ghettoistan ~ Turkmenistan ~ Uzbekistan ~ Tajikistan ~ other Stan countries ~ Soviet Britain