Lists on a Page
“ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! I'VE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHERFUCKING LISTS ON THIS MOTHERFUCKING PAGE!”
In late 2006 the Uncyclopedia admins used a big list of credit card numbers they had downloaded off the internet to fund a movie based on Uncyclopedia. Not knowing where to start, they foolishly let the Uncyclopedians submit suggestions...
Some guy does something and then... ah never mind, I suppose I'll write it later.
No, Seriously, What Happens In The Movie?
First, many anonymous IPs, lacking any ability to create written humour but still desperate to make their mark on Uncyclopedia, made a bunch of new articles. Many of these articles, however, were nothing more than long lists of things relating to the titles of the articles. The "Idiot" article was filled with bullet-point lists of names, many of them clichés like George W. Bush, and many more were ugly red links.
Of course, this had been going on since the dawn of time, so nobody really gave a damn. Everyone simply suffered quietly, sifting through piles upon piles of lists, often finding some dipshit's idea of funny plaguing an otherwise good article. An endless cycle of creation, edits, and deletion. The admins dutifully threw the accursed lists into the Inferno, one by one, day after day. Everyone just got used to it.
Then something strange started happening. There were more lists than usual appearing. Even worse, the newbies who came to Uncyclopedia started seeing more lists than actual content, leading many of them to believe they should make lists too. The Uncyclopedians continued with their daily activities, dismissing the foreboding chill that they all felt in their gut. "No big deal," said they, "it's just a brief surge, nothing to be alarmed about."
Technically, they were right. There was nothing to be worried about. For the sake of making a thrilling horror movie, however, the script was really hammed up and made all dramatic. Most critics agree that the movie would have sucked a lot less if the writers hadn't done this.
So you want to know how to write a list?
If you seriously asked me this question then don't. Just don't. The chances are you will just be over 9000 times more irritating when embued with the power (or lackof therein) of list writing.
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