Truth about Lithuanians

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A Lithuanian during mating season

About trust[edit]

Lithuanians are always waiting to get something for free (authority, women or lottery prizes).

Lithuanians don't trust banks, the government, the USA, time, neighbors, friends, discounts, men in suits...

Lithuanians believe in the end of the world, a good president, and the dark side.

Kubilius is to be blamed for everything

About Basketball[edit]

Basketball is our state religion.

Basketball comes in many shapes and sizes, including beer, the remote control and a wife locked in the closet.

Everything that is not related to basketball is considered bullshit.

A basketball player can rape a women once a year if he's really good at basketball.

If Landsbergis was a baskerball player, i'd be worried.

An example of a standant Lithuanian during his working hours

About Lithuanian Consistency[edit]

A true Lithuanian studies only once in his life, and works in only one workplace (e.g. at home).

A true Lithuanian laborer works for beer (vodka is optional).

When large amounts of Lithuanians are killed, an accordion player climbs atop the bodies and plays the national anthem.

All Lithuanian weathermen are solar-powered.

Kubilius is to be blamed for everything.

About Lithuanian Solutions to Problems[edit]

Many Lithuanians solve their problems by reducing blood pressure in other peoples heads and their own. My blood pressure has been reduced dramatically during last year!

Lithuanian policemen don't use the "blood pressure reduction" method, they shoot themselves in public bathrooms.

Often, the cleaning lady is found crying in the corner.

Kubilius is to be blamed for everything.

See also[edit]