Local bum

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Daycrawlers looking for employment. And yet he has cardboard.

Local bums are strange creatures that walk around neighborhoods, drinking, and being bothersome. They can be any size and look like regular people but grouchy, smell bad, look bad, have crabs, and probably sleep in boxes. They spend their time asking for cash and blank checks which will undoubtedly and innevetably be used for prostitutes and drugs, which will be done off of the prostitutes (in some cases, the prostitutes may also be done off of other prostitutes. For more on this, see sex and Japan).

Diet and Mating[edit]

Living off Alcohol, Drugs and cheap Sex, local bums don't really care about who they mate with and where, it could be anything from hookers to dogs. Ever see a stray dog that seems extremely pissed off for no reason? It has most likely just received anal sex from a local bum. Unforutunatly, the tits are not present.

Where Do Bums Live?[edit]

Bums live almost anywhere, except places that you need to pay to get into. You can find most in McDonald’s restaurants and behind the liquor store, but sometimes they can be found in trees at a park or on a bridge. Bums thrive around slow moving and, ideally, stopped traffic, where they will mark their territory by spraying a blue liquid which they secrete from a gland behind their scrotum all over the windshield of your car, and then rubbing it all the fuck over that bitch. Goddamnit that's annoying.

Safety Precautions[edit]

Even though bums are very lazy and slow, they sometimes get enough energy to get up, here are some things to do if this happens:

  1. Nothing bums get bored easy so if you do nothing interesting he/she will probably stop.
  2. Another thing to do is walk away that usually works.

See also[edit]