London, Ontario

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London, Ontario is a city created in an early attempt of city cloning. The plan had been to Build exact duplicate of London in the middle of southwestern Ontario, why they decided to do this is beyond me... But the plan was later abandoned when English and Canadian guys were all pissed off when they found out that the government was doing this, supposedly the ethical issues it raised were overwhelming or something...

So when the project was canceled only 'bout 5% of what london should've become was there and oddly enough the cloning plan had called for the creation of all shopping facilities first. Leaving London, Ontario with an incomprehensibly large excess of malls which still plague the city to this day.

London's bus transportation system is world renowned for it's efficiency, routes and exquisite stop locations, which is very complementary alongside the revolutionary stop light network.

London has a big fat ball of tin foil that stinks like rotten garbage due to the Thames River. Another popular tourist trap is Victoria Park, which has plenty of rabid squirrels. They run around eating garbage and from time to time bite little Children's toes off. Watch Out!!!



London has been the recipient of a number of odd ...umm... let's call them 'incidents':

  • 1899: Fear of Y1.9k sweeps across London causing riots and thousands of deaths.
  • 1914: German forces infiltrate Canada and capture London. It remains a German state until 2001.
  • 1924: Part of the sun falls off and hits Earth in the middle of Victoria park in London. Thus creating the annual Sunfest fair.
  • 1943: London (as part of Germany) initiates an attack on Saint Thomas, a neighboring town. Saint Thomas just drops they're huge statue of Jumbo the elephant on the Germans.
  • 1976: London catches fire in the middle of the River Thames' worst flood ever... ironic, eh?
  • 1999: Fear of Y2k sweeps across London but people are much more calm and collected then they were in 1899.
  • 2000: After figuring out that Y2k was all hype, the people of london go and destroy all the computer manufacturers who charged them for the new 75$ Y2K compatible computer chip. Causes 42 deaths.
  • 2005: UWO vanishes in thin air after 2 months research into chrono-shifting technology.