Lord Freak

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Lesser power of the Abyss Intermediate power of Pandemonium, CE
Portfolio: schizophrenia, freaks, geeks, tweaking, pixelated retro gaming, overhyping packaging and retro porn.
Aliases*: Fredan of Cormyr, Smeagol, Mula, Wildroot Van Gooch, Chilly, Tyler Durden, Goochman, Twiggy the Mascot, Coño, Cubby Ramone, the Freaky One, Darth Gooch.

Human adventurer elevated to demigodhood by his devotion to insanity and Ren and Stimpy. The sneaky but cunning use of avatars later gained him increased status as a lesser power and his own domain in the Abyss, between the layers of Lolth and Blipdoolpoolp. His known avatars include:

  • Prof. Wildroot Van Gooch, (mistyped in the Qu'Ran as Wang-Guch) tweaker extraordinaire and host of his own cable TV show. Prof. Van Guch has conveniently saved the day on many occasions, and even made a fortune, by selling malfunctioning hardware at discount prices. Friend and rival of Dr. Snoop and his Overclocking Posse, each one exalting the superority of video (Snoop) vs. audio (Van Gooch); as of June 2005, both shows have been cancelled in favor of their new, joint show "Pimp my case" where they go head-to-head and over the top in modding and overclocking. The Latin American version with a bad Peruvian translation ("Enchulame el gabinete") is expected shortly afterwards.
  • Tyler Durden, imaginary friend. Accidentally discovered a new, secret word of power, and unleashed its wrath on society. Now not even him can stop it, because he told us he would try to do it and instructed us to castrate him when he did.
  • Mula, the mexican underground version of Johnny Knoxville from MTV's Jackass, made a cult hit with the yearly event "Doomstock" and the short movies "The chinese vampire" and "Vultus' girlfriend".
  • Smeagol the XBOX demon, greedy collector of electronic equipment and colorful cardboard boxes, later misused by J.R.R. Tolkien as a character in his novels.
  • Goochman, John Holmes' greatest fan; producer/director of classic retro-inspired porn hits such as "Cock rollercoaster", "Midgets: labour of love" and especially "Fat and flat asses, vol. 3", starring Pastillon, owner of Pasti's Pub & Fisting. He later went on to an uncredited performance in the hard-to-find 4th volume of the series. Goochman is the genius behind the mucho.cum.com website.
  • Chilly the talking horse, rumored to have eloped with Helga (the bartender's wife) to the Bahamas after leaving Fredan and his squire Shaquille "Cookie" O'Neal inside the lost level of Undermountain.
  • Cubby Ramone, twin brother of Ramones replacement drummer Richie. Guitarist of the christian doom metal polka band The Peppermints.
  • Twiggy the mascot, campus outcast with a penchant for big boobs and partying on, kinky all night long. Considered a stud by psycho cheerleaders.
  • Darth Gooch, secret "backup" apprentice to Darth Sidious (in case he couldn't convert Anakin Skywalker to the Dark Side of the Force). In the movies' timeline, this avatar manifested during the Clone Wars and was destroyed just minutes prior to the beginning of Episode III by a band of overweight Qui-Gon Jinn clones, still clutching a "F*CK U JEDIS" sign in his hands. Coined the phrase "In Sith we trust". Circulating rumours of supposed sightings of Darth Gooch and a female Sith apprentice are unproven but increasing in several planes and star systems.


Lord Freak is quickly gaining followers and currently approaching Intermediate Power status with the addition of his first Divine disciple, the son of Sid Vicious, champion of pixelated gaming. The creation of a website by a sect of his cardboard-box worshippers didn't hurt, either.

In fact, this very entry into the Uncyclopedia was just enough to bump him into 
his new status as an Intermediate Power, with a new Realm called Jiña in Cocytus,
the second layer of the madness-inducing plane of Pandemonium...  
the gods help us all