Lubbock

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Those obsessed with so-called experts should thank their lucky stars that Wikipedia does not have an article about Lubbock.

Lubbock is the heinous pagan god of the firey badlands of Texas. He was known for eating many souls of small children and virgin dogs. The children souls were rich in fiber, and the dog souls were just a wierd thing to eat. He was depicted as a giant toe with a massive and twisted toenail that has not been cut since DinoJesus returned to earth cerca areallylongtimeago AC, and a mouth roughly as wide as Rosey O'donnel filled with sharp knives instead of teeth. For a while it was said that the horrendous Lubbock was transformed into a solid platinum version of Keanu Reeves that flew into the stratasphere to fight the Banana Slug of Destiny to decide the fate of the ESRB Video Game Rating System.

The battle that ensued shook the skies and shrunk the penises of all who lived down in the multen land of Texas below. The genitalia of these poor people have never recoverred. The dreaded banana slug vanquished and Lubbock's Keanu Reeves form destabalized inot oblivion by a passing Ass Clown with a glue gun, the mighty toe deity decended back down to earth, and the place where he/it landed was cristenned Houstan, where NASA was formed to launch annual human sacriphices in large mettle penis statues, or "Rockets," which promptly explode. This ritual is done in the hopes of undoing the dammage done by the battle with the dreaded banana slug. The Lubbock is known to laugh at this, because he's an ass-hole like that.

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