Märtha-Louise

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Märtha-Louise, generally called Mærtta (with a voice of disgust), is the Lesbian Arch-Priestess of King Haagar's cult. She is also the Crownprincess of Norway, but unlike most Crownprincesses she is not the King's daugther. The King has always been above "common" activities such as having intercourse or facial expressions. Instead her little brother Crowprince Haakon inseminated his own mother before he himself was born by using proprietary lesbian witchcraft which he stole from the yet to be born Crownprincess.

She grew up in the Royal Family Custard Garden during the fabolous eighties. The primary reason Norway has princesses is to keep the fur of horses pretty. She was cultivated with water from the legendary sewers beneath Oslo that is said to enhance the horse-fur licking abilities of princesses. The smell assosiated with this upbringing explains why she never had any friends, along with her hideous looks.

The second purpose of the Norwegian Royal Family's Crownprincess is to fight evil, as the only known method to soothe the fiendish Demons that keep spawning out of the legendary hellmouth Holmenkollen is to sacrifice a princess virgin. It is often very difficult to guard the chastity of Norway's beautiful princesses, but in this case this was not a problem. Her duty was fulfilled a few years ago when she was sacrified/married to the unwholesome Ari-Behn. Norwegians are generally very unhappy with the sacrifice as no price is worth anything resulting in seeing Behn's smirking face more often in the tabloids, even if they did get rid of the most unmarriable woman of all times.

A common question is why Ari-Behn would accept a Lesbian as a sacrifice. This is because Ari-Behn is in no way what so ever a man.

Preceded by:
HRH The Earl of Wessex ("The Prince Edward"
Line of Succession to the British Throne
Succeeded by:
HRH The Princess Royal ("The Princess Anne")