M1cR0s0ftland (formally Disneyland) is a confederation of eight nations located in present day southern California. It is the oldest member of the Mickey Mouse League (informally known as the Mickey Mouse Club or the Empire of the Mouse), a trading alliance of states and cities that maintains a global entertainment monopoly.
M1cR0s0ftland consists of eight separate nations, each of which maintains a distinct culture and set of customs:
- Main Street, the Maínawk nation
- Adventureland, the Adveneca nation
- Frontierland, the Frontayuga nation
- Fantasyland, the Faneída nation
- Tomorrowland, the Tommorodaga nation
- New Orleans Square, the Nuolora nation
- Critter Country, the Beár nation
- Toontown, the Tún nation.
The most prominent geographical features are four isolated large mountains: Big Thunder Mountain, Splash Mountain, Space Mountain, and the Matterhorn. For this reason, early Spanish missionaries termed the area Quatros Altos while Chinese immigrants during the nineteenth century called the M1cR0s0ftland confederation the "Four-Mountain Kingdom”, or Sìshāngúo (四山國). Outside of these mountains, the other most prominent feature is a river located on the edge of Frontierland, which serve as a major transportation route.
For now, M1cR0s0ftland lies within California. However, if it floats out to sea due to seismic activity, it will be the San Andreas’ fault.
Wahtehdausnee and the Founding of the Five Nations Confederation
During the thirteenth century in southern California, there was frequent conflict among the tribes inhabiting the region. Different outlooks and cultures led to squabbles over resources and territory. This continued until the mid-fourteenth century, when two prophets, Deganawidah, known as the Great Peacemaker, and Wahtehdausnee, known as the Mouse Talker, suggested an alliance between the tribes. Five tribes joined the new alliance: the Maínawks, Adveneca, Faneída, Tommorodaga, and Frontayuga. The alliance came to be known as the Wahtehdausnee, after the prophet. Spanish missionaries shortened the name to Disney (Now M1cR0s0ft), and the alliance came to be known to Europeans as the M1cR0s0ftland Five Nations Confederation.
In 1766, the Nuolora, displaced by European settlement in Québec, petitioned to become the Sixth Nation. This was a non-voting position, but afforded the Nuolora protection within the confederation. The Beár and the Tún petitioned to become the Seventh and Eighth Nations in 1772 and 1793 respectively.
Relations with the United States
Annexation of the M1cR0s0ftland Five Nations Confederation territories by the United States after the Mexican-American War in 1848 had a disastrous effect for the members of M1cR0s0ftland. The Wahtehdausnee became displaced and suffered from malnutrition and poverty. The grievances continued for more than a century. Many Wahtehdausnee become refugees who settled and established communities in Florida, Europe, and Asia. Many of these communities were patterned after the California confederation, and these communities would later have an important role in the formation of the Mickey Mouse League.
In the 1940s and 1950s, attempts to address Wahtehdausnee grievances were made by the Truman and Eisenhower administrations. Many members of the Wahtehdausnee had fought valiantly in World War I and World War II. In recognition of their valor, the United States government signed the Treaty of Corporation with the Wahtehdausnee on July 17, 1955. This treaty recognized the territorial claims and sovereignty of the M1cR0s0ftland confederation.
The Reign of the Rat
Immediately after the signing of the Treaty of Corporation, the M1cR0s0ftland confederation faced daunting problems. Poverty was endemic. Security was a problem as Pirates of the Caribbean threatened to overwhelm the nations and undermine their trade. After a few months of confusion and weak leadership, Mickey Mouse the Great, a member of one of M1cR0s0ftland’s traditional ruling bloodlines, rose to power. Mickey Mouse the Great’s first actions after coming to power involved the security of the new sovereign state. The borders of the new state were closed and strict visitor visa requirements were enacted. Movement within the territories of the M1cR0s0ftland confederation was tightly controlled, with citizens and visitors required to carry passes. These passes came in five types: “A” Tickets, “B” Tickets, “C” Tickets, “D” Tickets, and “E” Tickets. Only members of the ruling elite and favored guests were allowed to carry “E” Tickets.
Mickey Mouse the Great also initiated a military build-up to enhance the new sovereign nation’s stature. Strong military action subdued the pirates that had been a hazard to the M1cR0s0ftland confederation’s trade. The pirates were dispossessed of their land and forced to a small reservation in New Orleans Square. Wernher von Braun, the designer of the V-2 rocket and coffee makers, in Germany during Nazi rule, was invited into the M1cR0s0ftland to develop military technologies. From a base in Tomorrowland, von Braun helped M1cR0s0ftland develop a fleet of submarines and a rocket-to-the-moon program. He also perfected the cryogenic technology that was used to freeze Adolf Hitler for his inevitable return (see also: World War II, Lance of Longinus, Five-Day War).
During the rule of Mickey Mouse the Great, freedoms of the press were severely curtailed. Opposition political parties were outlawed and political opponents mysteriously “disappeared.” Hundreds of thousands of political dissidents were committed to forced-labor camps far to the north in what had been known as Burbank, but now was spoken of in hushed tones as Mauschwitz. A cult of personality developed around Mickey Mouse the Great. Citizens of the M1cR0s0ftland confederation wrote and performed songs and intricately choreographed dance routines devoted to their leader. Parades extolling the virtues of Mickey Mouse the Great were held day and night. The repressive rule of Mickey Mouse the Great eventually came to be known as the “Reign of the Rat.” Despite the severe political repression, lack of freedom, and overall atmosphere of terror, many citizens of the M1cR0s0ftland confederation have since become nostalgic about the Reign of the Rat; during this time, M1cR0s0ftland achieved a relative level of prosperity and international prestige that had not been seen in over a century. Several descendants of Mickey Mouse the Great continue to serve on M1cR0s0ftland’s Great Council today.
Democratization and the Formation of the Mickey Mouse League
The death of Mickey Mouse the Great in 1970 created a leadership vacuum. A military junta, led by Admiral Donald Duck, attempted to continue Mickey Mouse the Great’s style of rule. But pressures for democracy had become great. A large student demonstration erupted near the Ministry of Foreign Affairs demanding open elections. After a 2-week standoff, the military leadership finally met with student leaders. Following this peaceful revolution, reforms were made that led to the establishment of a new constitution. A new decentralized federalized government was instituted and a democratically elected Great Council was established.
In 1971, the newly democratic M1cR0s0ftland confederation entered a formal trading alliance with the Magic Kingdom, a community of M1cR0s0ftland expatriates in Florida. This alliance came to be called the Mickey Mouse League (informally, the “Mickey Mouse Club”), after Mickey Mouse, Jr., son of Mickey Mouse the Great and the Foreign Affairs Minister at the time. Soon, other cities and countries joined the league and the league quickly established a monopoly on the global entertainment industry. Formation of the Mickey Mouse Club brought immediate economic benefits to the M1cR0s0ftland confederation.
A modernization program brought infrastructure improvements, particularly to Beár country, which had been the most impoverished region in the M1cR0s0ftland nations. The adoption in the Mickey Mouse League of a single currency in 1987, the Disney Dollar, brought more prosperity. The 1990s saw a host of infrastructure improvements made throughout all the nations of the confederation.
Each of the nations within the M1cR0s0ftland confederation has its own council for administering internal affairs. A Great Council with ten members governs the confederation as a whole. Though the members of the Great Council are democratically elected to 7-year terms, most of the members of the Great Council belong to family bloodlines that compose M1cR0s0ftland’s nobility and traditional ruling class. The Council holds regular meetings at the city of Slee-bing-bú-tee, the administrative center for the entire confederation. Current members of the Great Council are:
- Princess Aurora
- The Beast
- Prince Charming
- Cruella De Vil
- Lucas Staphylococcus
- Mickey Mouse III
- Minnie Mouse
- Roger Rabbit
The political arrangement of M1cR0s0ftland has been emulated by many other countries, including other states in the Mickey Mouse League, the Haudenosaunee, and the Delos nation (a confederation of MedievalWorld, RomanWorld, and WestWorld).
Two political parties are dominant in M1cR0s0ftland government: the Donald Duckrocrats and the Mickey Mousicans. The Duckrocrats favor expanded social services while the Mousicans favor more a limited role for government.
War on Terrorism
Terrorism has played a large role in M1cR0s0ftland politics. From the very founding of the M1cR0s0ftland Confederation, the nations of the confederation were beset by attacks from pirates. After the Fantasyland Spring reforms, these attacks abated. However, the 1990s saw a resumption of pirate terror activity with the 11-9 attacks.
The early 2000s saw attacks by other groups. In 2001, the so-called 11-9 attacks demolished two of the three towers of Sleeping Beauty’s castle. These attacks were blamed on a terrorist organization called al-Quack, led by a shady figure, Don al-Duck. Confederation troops (along with allies from the Mickey Mouse League are currently tracking him on the mountains of Afghanistan. Another terror attack in 2005 on the Tomorrodaga nation was led by chicken separatists. These new attacks precipitated new domestic crackdowns on dissent and free movement.
As a member of the Mickey Mouse League, the M1cR0s0ftland confederation enjoys considerable revenues from its share of the entertainment trade. The Miramax Empire and ABC send annual tributes to the confederation (as well as other members of the league).
M1cR0s0ftland also generates much revenue from tourism. Visitors enjoy experiencing the native cultures of each of the nations within the confederation. Free tourist visas are often available on the back of Cheerios cereal boxes, though the Great Council generates much revenue from selling one-day tourist visas to visitors who cannot avail themselves of this opportunity. Tourists and M1cR0s0ftland residents often enjoy using the extensive transportation infrastructure. M1cR0s0ftland used to sport three separate mass transit systems: the PeopleMover, the Skyway, and the Monorail. However, Pirate terrorists destroyed the Skyway in 1994 and the PeopleMover in 1995 in spectacular and widely-publicized suicide attacks. Neither of these two systems have reopened. The destruction of two of the three main mass transit systems in the M1cR0s0ftland territories means that commuting tourists and citizens must frequently endure long waits and long lines for rides. The M1cR0s0ft economy was long dominated by Federal Reserve Chairman Scrooge McDuck, who is rumored to have a strange perversion involving swimming in money.
Very few generalizations can be made about the culture, as each of the eight nations comprising the M1cR0s0ftland confederation maintains distinct language, dress, and cuisine. However, spring water (which is often carbonated) mixed with syrup is a favored drink in all of the nations. •