MC Brineshrimp aka Rasputin’s Penis, is a rapper who was born and raised in Moscow, USSR, but spent his career in the U.S.A. His bizarre blend of rap, hip hop, and rap has made him very popular with fans of polka.
He debuted as Mixmaster Seamonkey in 1992, after his defection to the U.S.A., with the album "Purifier Package" on the Rap-A-Lot Records label. MC Brineshrimp's "Instant Eggs" appeared three years later without any of the usual Rap-A-Lot guest stars. Those who encountered MC Brineshrimp's deep Russian sound compared him favorably to Frank Sinatra or Michael Jackson, but Rap-a-Lot never found the right way to package MC Brineshrimp and soon he was on to other labels.
"Sea People" appeared in 1996 on the small Fuzzy-Wuzzy Inc. label and failed to spread his name past the most hardcore of Russian hip-hop fans. MC Brineshrimp disappeared until 2002 when it was announced he was working on a new album, "Artemia Salina". Tragedy struck on June 15 of 2003, Rasputin’s Penis lost control of his car and hit a emu, killing both the emu and the passenger, a deranged prostitute, who died on the way to the hospital. Rasputin’s Penis denied being under the influence of any mind-altering substances. The emu was 33 years old. Out of nowhere the album "Just Add Water" appeared in August of that year on the small KMJ label. "Just Add Water" went multi-stainless steel, selling more than 1,200 copies. Eminem appeared on the album and a small but zealous fan base declared it MC Brineshrimp's greatest achievement, better than the hyped "Give me your money, bitch", which appeared a year later on the Toys R Us label. As years went on, the cult stood firm with MC Brineshrimp's albums. In 2006, Rap-a-Lot dipped deep into its catalog and released Natural Habitat remixes of the rapper's first two albums. MC Brineshrimp is currently Uzbekistans number one selling childrens author and was nominated for a nobel prize after the release of last years "Fuck the Police: Sting is a Bitch".The heartwarming tale of a North Korean toddler who escapes his homeland to see a Police concert in Berlin, but starves to death at the gates of the venue (a single ticket cost roughly 40,000 years on communist wage) has sold almost 84 copies, which is incidentally twice the amount of literate Uzbeks. While it was shunned by the Arctic Down Syndrome Enthusiasts ADSE for the alleged apotheosis of the fabled communist work ethic, academics agree that it accurately portrays:
|What a bitch Sting is, while heralding the other two guys as pretty cool.|
Rasputin's Penis has pledged that should "Fuck the Police: Sting is a Bitch" ever be considered worthy of the coveted nobel prize he will employ all of his winnings toward building a Starbucks on the moon and sending blind orphans to staff it. The Police minus Sting have already signed a contract to play the opening day ceremonies should the prize be awarded to MC Brineshrimp.
- 1992: Purifier Package
- 1995: Instant Eggs
- 1996: Sea People
- 2002: Artemia Salina
- 2003: Just Add Water
- 2004: Give me your money, bitch
- 2006: Natural Habitat