Magic Marker Sniffing Day

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Magic Marker Sniffing is a long celebrated ritual of the ancient Aztecs who believed that sniffing substances gave them powers from the gods. They believed it so much in fact that they made it into an entire day, although probably more to exploit foreigners into parting with their money than anything else.

Origin of the Magic Marker[edit]

To understand the idea of Magic Marker Sniffing Day you must know the history of the Magic Marker. It is well known that the Aztecs were the first to use Magic Markers as they were the first to have a calendar and needed a substance to cross out the dates. It is also common knowledge that the first version of Magic Marker was not in fact called a Magic Marker but actually Bat Marker. Bat Marker was a mix of venom from a bufo alvarius toad and bat guano. The substance obtained its popular name because one day a young aztec was playing with his calendar when he stuck the bat marker up his nose and tripped so hard he broke his nose. Thus the birth of Magic Marker.

The Magic Marker underwent many revisions and revolutions. With the advances in science it is now possible to synthetically create Magic Markers today and they are sold worldwide under various brand names. The brand name determines the quality of the product. The longer the name of the marker, the better it is.

What is Magic Marker Sniffing Day[edit]

Magic Marker Sniffing Day is a celebration world wide for the ingenuity and integrity of the magic marker. It has withstood the test of time as one of the primo substances of choice by marker heads to this day. It is celebrated on June 24 at the end of the Aztec calendar year in which everyone purchases a marker and endulges for a night of heavenly bliss.

Dangers of a Magic Marker[edit]

There are none. (Well, not really.) It is a wide and popular myth that sniffing the intoxicating fumes of a magic marker could actually harm a person's health in some way. This is simply not true. The fumes, while addictive and although have the side effects of kitten huffing and marijuana, do not actually harm. But safety is always an issue. Know when and where and who before enjoying the fumes of a magic marker.

Where: Making sure you are in the right place before sniffing a marker. Do not sniff in places that might seem inappropriate to "normal" human beings, such as a nursury, hospital, school, police station and morgue. Not knowing these areas could lead to being seen as a weirdo, and especially as a weirdo with a Magic Marker.

When: Make sure that it is the right time to sniff. As with above, it is important to know when to sniff, lest you be called a weirdo and/or a pervert of markers. Do not sniff any time at night; this might disturb your sleep patterns and cause horrible ass rashes. It is also a danger to sniff during lunch, as you might mistake your marker for your beef jerky. Sniffing is okay, eating it is not. The juice inside has been compared to eating shit by none other than George Washington.

Who:You should always know what your limits are for marker fumes; when do you pass out? Do you like sniffing? Smurfs?