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Today's Featured Article - Ceiling Cat

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Featured today, a long long time ago

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Ludwig Wittgenstein, featured on 18 September 2014. See the featured version.
BioShock, featured on 18 September 2014. See the featured version.

Did you know...

  • ...that every time you shoot yourself in the head, someone somewhere in the world dies?
  • ...that it is important to tune your Air Guitar constantly, as any dust particles that stick to the complicated arrangement of air will completely deform it?


  • ...that every time you shoot yourself in the head, someone somewhere in the world dies?
  • ...that it is important to tune your Air Guitar constantly, as any dust particles that stick to the complicated arrangement of air will completely deform it?


  • ...that every time you shoot yourself in the head, someone somewhere in the world dies?
  • ...that it is important to tune your Air Guitar constantly, as any dust particles that stick to the complicated arrangement of air will completely deform it?


  • ...that every time you shoot yourself in the head, someone somewhere in the world dies?

In the news

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On this day...

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September 18: God's Birthday. Happy birthday, God

  • Infinity B.C.E. - God is born.
  • 68498290839682373087238279 B.C.E - Satan becomes jealous when God receives more birthday presents on his birthday then he does.
  • 4000 B.C.E. - God receives the universe as a birthday present and breaks it six days later.
  • 3200 B.C.E - S'dhkai, a canaanite is struck down by lightning when he forgets God's birthday.
  • 2500 K.F.C. - Israelites hold a birthday party for God, mistake him for a gold cow.
  • 0 - God has His first child... with hilarious results!
  • 1000 - God is scheduled to make a special birthday speech to the world, but cancels at the last minute.
  • 1609 - Gordon Edgeway and George Bennett are fused together in a nuclear fusion reaction; the resulting matter is named Gordon Bennett.
  • 1759 - Quebec City is stolen by a gang of monkeys. They are later discovered trying to sell it on a market stall in Hamburg and are sentenced to 15 hours of community service.
  • 1848 - A senator is beaten and hung for suggesting equal rights for homosexuals. Just one example of how good the days of conservative family values were.
  • 1873 - The Panic of 1873 begins.
  • 1874 - The Drinking Binge of 1874 begins.
  • 1875 - The Mother of all Headaches begins.
  • 1912 - A biochemist by the name of George Brehanns declares that chewing ruled paper during your childs infancy increases the likelihood that he or she will be a writer.
  • 1913 - Hilroy's stock value skyrockets. Investors rejoice.
  • 1997 - National referendum in Wales - an overwhelming majority (87.13%) vote yes on a motion to send out for pizza.
  • 1998 - Jenna Jameson beats off stiff competition to take an Oscar for her part in 7-Up.
  • 2000 - God is scheduled to make a special birthday speech to the world from Paris, but cancels at the last minute again. Rioting ensues.
  • 2001 - God gets drunk at His birthday party and passes out in Buddha´s bathroom.
  • 2025 - Lost ends, God is pleased.
  • 1993 - The BITCH Shelby Switzer was born. I hate her. Shes PURE.

Today's featured picture

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More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about... | Stuck articles needing a push

Writer and Noob of the Month

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GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


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Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


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It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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