Malaclypse the Younger
Malaclypse the Younger (Groucho:2 5866 - Gummo:1 5988) (also known as Richard Nixon, Comte de St.Germain, Senor Wences, Gregory Hill, Harold Grey, and Carol Channing) was a deranged fanatical guru and cult leader, active mainly from the mid 1930s through to the late 1990s, and was the author of subversive literature, a counterculture dilettante, drugged-out hippy, nihilistic mystic, apostolic draft-dodger, and one the illegitimate son of P.T. Barnum. He is supected to be the author of several of the books of the Principia Discordia: the Gospel of Jeepers Creepers, the Book of False Testimony, and Big Roger's Apocalypse (collectively known as "Geoffrey"), and may also be responsible for the controversial Discordian apocrypha, the newly discovered Hermaphroditic Gospels, The Book of Eris, The Wise Book Of Baloney, and Britney Spears. He was the co-founder and central informant of MJ-12 , the super-secret paramilitary wing of the Project BlueBook, and sent them on several pointless missions against the nefarious John keel of the UFOs For Class President, after WW2.
Malaclypse the Younger was born in the caboose of a moving train to a prostitute mother, being the bastard son of P.T. Barnum, the prostitute was given a hefty sum, then dropped off in Langtry, Texas where she met the local law, Judge Roy Bean who raised the boy as his own, and teaching him the insane ways of the goddess Eris Discordia, his muse. The young Malaclypse took to the teachings, and became a devout Discordian, until the age of 23, when he finally left the family homestead, began to pick flowers, stepped on a wasp nest, and was stung hundreds of times. In a huff, he renounced Discordianism, calling it a "sucky religion".
The Voice of Eris
After roaming the country, helping people, under the name David Banner Malaclypse eventually stopped in New Orleans where he met a young Nazi Android by the name of Kerry Thornley, who was also the evil twin brother of Lee Harvey Oswald. Thornley had a habit of attachign electrodes to his nipples as a sexual jolt, which he introduced Malaclypse to, but the charge was too intense, and they were both electrocuted severely. While unconscious, they shared a dream in which Eris Discordia came to them in the form of Moms Mabley and directed them to some graffitto on a nearby wall, depicting the Sacred Chao which was a diagram for both how the Universe worked, and also how to assemble a clock radio.
The Pricipia Discordia
Writing on toilet paper in Greyhound bustations Malaclypse wrote the Principia Discordia over thirteen years. He still claims this is only the introduction.