Man boob disorder (MBD)

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Do you look like this freak? Then this is the right article for you.

So, you have Man boob disorder huh, or MBD as it is abbreviated? Are you the person who cant take there shirt off without been embarrassed, or the person who inhales deeply in order to look more normal, only to find that doing this causes the fat in your stomach to pile into the upper half of your body, making your man boobs bigger than they were in the first place? Are you the person that is often mistaken for some half man half woman freak? If so, this article is for you. If you are a woman, you need not read any further, unless of course you are very butch woman and your boobs might aswel be a mans, in which case, you may want to read on.

I thought id just mention that I myself am recovering from a bad case of MBD, so I will remain totally unbiased and understanding towards all you ugly mutant freaks out there.


MBD[edit]

So, how about a little introduction to the disorder. The first person to contract the disease was Henry VIII, former king of England and big fat faggot. It is said that he became so fat that his stomach eventually ran out of space to store it all, and so his body had to improvise. This lead to him growing what appeared to be boobs. At first he thought he was turning into a woman, but after many experiments it was finally diagnosed that the king was suffering from a completely different and undiscovered disorder, MBD. It was also concluded that the condition may well be contagious or passed on in some way.

However, in 1547 Henry exploded, dying instantly, so it was thought that the disorder would never be seen again...WRONG. The many wives he had during his reign had also caught the disorder through sex, but considering they were women, and already had boobs, they became MBD carriers. Since then, the genetic disorder has been passed down through the years, spreading across the world.

Signs that you have Man boob disorder[edit]

George Bush is often thought to have man boobs, but this is false, because all apes have that type of chest shape.
  • You have boobs.
  • Your a man.

Symptoms[edit]

The following are all caused by MBD...

  • You are often in denial of your man boobs, claiming that you will simply grow out of them.
  • Your man boobs put you off women for life.
  • You often squeeze your man boobs together and fantasize that your looking at a womans chest (Be careful, this often triggers the previous symptom).

What can you do about it?[edit]

So you want to get rid of those hideous man boobs eh? Well hope is not all lost, there are a few thing you can do.

  1. Go to the gym and work out until they are gone. (Note: May also lead to them becoming saggy airless bags)
  2. Make a small incision in each boob and suck the fat out with a vacuum cleaner (Note: May also lead to them becoming saggy airless bags).
  3. Have liposuction on those disgusting atrocities (Note: You guessed it, may also lead to them becoming saggy airless bags).

If none of these steps work, im afraid your stuck with them forever, unless you do actually grow out of them, which is unlikely.

You may now be thinking, what if these steps do work? Ill just be left with saggy airless bags on my chest? There is also a simple solution to this. Simply get some washing line pegs, and pin them back until they return to normal.

Conclusion[edit]

Hopefully, this article has helped you understand more about the disorder MBD, and maybe now you will actually be able to do something about your hideous man boobs. Thank you for your time you fat lump of feces. Ok, calling you that was a little harsh, im sure beneath your wide exterior there is a nice kind person, because as they say "Big person, big heart!" ... Ok they dont actually say that I just made it up, but still...

Erm, it seems im going a little off course now (just like you would on the running track), so im going to leave it there.

Sexual Fetishes, Paraphilias, and Assorted Perversions