Map of Tasmania

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Shot of Tasmania from "down under".

It is widely known that there is a wide range of quintessentially Australian objects that are venerated by the population of the world's smallest continent. Football, meat pies, kangaroos and Holden cars are some of the more traditional ones. Kevin Sheedy, Llleyytonn Hewittt, Ollie, Millie and Syd have made more recent inroads into hearts and minds from Cape York to Cape Otway and from Fremantle to Wooloomooloo. But at a more fundamental and private level there is one thing that Australians hold in esteem above all others: the Map of Tasmania.

Ritual[edit]

Every Australian woman earns the right to wear a Map of Tasmania as she reaches puberty. At the same time, the majority of Australian males become almost unaturally obsessed by them. As guardians of the sacred image, the women go to great lengths to keep them away from the prying eyes of the menfolk. The men in their turn resort to extreme measures in their attempts to gain access. Common tactics include chasing a football around a cricket field in a tank-top and tight shorts and starting international media and publishing empires.

In the present day, women have become less tolerant of this behaviour on the part of the men and have been known to trim their maps of Tasmania so that they are no longer recognisable as such. Research has shown that this typically does nothing to quell the spirit of the males and can often further inflame their spiritual fervour.

See also[edit]