From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
(Redirected from Marble)
Jump to: navigation, search
The Pillsbury Doughboy is into satanic rituals.

Marbles is a common a Satanic ritual that originated in Canada, where Satanism is a common practice. The game involves throwing the skulls of first born males at a gagged and bounded virgin. In the South Korean version of Marbles (practiced by Vampires Whores and the man with the big yellow hat from Curious George ), which is played by shoving the small glass balls up the victims anus, while he screams for mercy. In some cases the victim shows signs of pleasure.


The first time Marbles was ever practiced was in Toronto in 1966. The 60's were full of devil worship and god-hating, so it was very popular. The ritual was introduced to the United States in 1968 when The Beatles discovered in Canada and encouraged fans to practice it at their concerts.The Beatles later brought it to Britain and many other countries in the world. By 1972 it had become to most practiced religious event in the world. After another Satanic ritual, disco, became popular, Marbles diminished in popularity, and many of it's practicers either killed themselves or dug a hole and lived in it. The people that lived in the holes later created an intricate series of mazes and pathways beneath the earth and became known as the Mole People.

Role in Kickage[edit]

You just got kicked in the marbles.

How to play[edit]

To perform an act of Marbles, one must first sacrifice over 50 first born males. They don't really have to be first borns, but they have to be males. An easy way to acquire a group of children is to go to a park with a van and offer them candy. Sometimes they yell out things like " Stranger danger" and "No feeling", if they do this just grab them and go off to another park. Once you have your first born males, you must carve pentagrams and such into their torso with a knife made from the bones of a heathen. Then, decapitate them and hang the head and body up to dry for three days. Once you have your dried out child bodies, eat the flesh from the body, be sure to eat the liver with liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti. Carve the skin and eyes from the head, then let the skull dry out for three days. Next, kidnap a virgin girl. You may use the park technique again, but if the girl has a creepy looking dad, it's best you try another girl. Then, set up a ring and proceed with the events described in the first paragraph.

People who would probably enjoy doing this[edit]