Marcel Duchamp

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Upward Effuser of Aqueous Essence by Marcel Duchamp, 1917, photograph by That Guy.

Marcel Duchamp (28 July 1887 – sometime in a bathroom 1968), (pronounced hey-champ or <French-sounding grunt>) was a French artist and social subversive whose goal in creating works for the Dada and Cubist movements was the complete and total annihilation of artistic taste, human culture, and the defilation what traditionally passes for art.

A perverted personality, Duchamp challenged continuously the notion of art. Decency, he proposed, was no prerequisite of art. Based on the supposition that art is anything interacted with by the artist to express an idea or sentiment. His work, called "avant-garde" by his contemporaries, is frequently found to be of a lewd, almost pornographically obscene nature.

“The act is not performed by the artist alone; it's important that the spectator get involved. Only then can the gangbang begin in earnest.”

~ Marcel Duchamp, April 1957

His Works[edit]

Immodest Female Downwardly Traversing A Graduated Incline, No. 2 (1912)[edit]

Duchamp's first work to provoke significant outrage was without doubt “Immodest Female Descending A Graduated Incline, No. 2' (Nu descendant un escalier n° 2) (1912).

This graphic, repulsive painting depicts teasingly the vague form of the female anatomy in excruciatingly inappropriate detail. Says one critic, “the distasteful work features the all the fragmentation of a hand grenade, the movement and dynamism of a trainwreck, the tonality of loose stool committed to canvas”.

Upward Effuser of Aqueous Essence (1919)[edit]

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Marcel Duchamp.

Duchamp, now a major celebrity in the French art world, was too lazy to spend much time working on compositions for the art market in order to pay his brothel tab.

In a Paris bathroom, after being denied entrance service at one of what the Parisians term “l’ hole d’ glori”, Duchamp angrily dismantled, in an act of blatant vandalism, the gentleman’s bladder evacuation receptacle in the same bathroom.

Low on laudanum funds, Duchamp flipped the urinal over, eating the disinfectant urinal cake inside it for sustenance, and signing the fictitious name R. Mutt on the ceramic object, which sold for thousands of dollars at a little-known art exhibition, the Armory Show. Now anything, no matter how obscene or mundane, could be called art without fear of punishment. The readymade was born.

Société Anonyme[edit]

Hunted by every decent able-bodied man for his public exposure and painterly impropriety, Duchamp created the Société Anonyme in 1920, along with Froggish supervillain / interior designer Man Ray. Nominally, the group collected modern art works, and arranged modern art exhibitions and lectures throughout the 1930s. Functionally, however, the group existed to solicit Parisian prostitutes and rentboys from Rouen. It was the first openly-homosexual-and-bicurious organization ever to exist in secret. In past years it has retained as aliases: ‘the Justice League’, ‘the Illuminati’, ‘NOW’, and ‘the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen’. Its motto is an obscure spoken-Sanskrit-proto-bantu variant that centers upon the group’s main mission: to secure for its members anonymous casual sex between men in public restrooms.

Further Objectionable Works[edit]

It truly appears to be one of the few Duchamp’s untainted by the artist’s perverse fantasies. Note the artist's anticipation of the proliferation of blue denim jeans. The chaotic squares lend the work its striking, movemented quality.

Reflections On Lip Service (1909)[edit]

Like the Italian futurist Mussolini and the non-Cuban Cubist Picasso who were his peers, Duchamp experimented with the Look, It’s Art! Movement, especially Cubism, which involved the obscuring of all meaning and aesthetic beauty by rectangular artifacts poorly splotched together to give the ineffective illusion of motion. At the time, Reflections on Lip Service was wrongly perceived to be a objectionable depiction of fellatio as seen through a boudoir mirror. It has since been recognized as the classical masterpiece it is, a commentary on the fleeting sincerity of societal entities. It is now firmly believed to be a wholesome example to our nation’s young artists and is an essential study for any student of First Gradeism.

The Bride Stripped Bare By Her Bachelors, Even (1910)[edit]

[ ed: After a thorough discussion (see talk), Uncyclopedia has decided that this painting is far too disgusting and repulsive even for it. Here at Uncyclopedia, we do not peddle in post-nuptial smut. If you still wish to view such content, readers over the age of 18 can find such material on this hive of scum and villainy. ] ~User1138

Death, Burial, And Zombification[edit]

Marcel Duchamp died happily among the urinals he loved so dearly, passed out in a privy in October of 1968. His tombstone reads "D'ailleurs, c'est toujours les autres qui meurent;" or "Besides, it's always other people who die." A proposed postage stamp of him was vandalized before press to include a moustache, so the Mona Lisa was ran on the presses in its place. In death, his tomb is frequently vandalized in reciprocation for the injuries he inflicted in life upon the art world.