March 20: Procrastination Day (extends until tomorrow)
- 1602 - The Dutch East India company is founded, paving the way for the trade of such goods as sugar, spices, human slaves, and additional sugar.
- 1815 - After escaping from his exile in Elba using cheese, cocked berets, and other French sterotypes, Napoleon Bonaparte begins his "Hundred Days" Rule.
- 1833 - Honest Jim starts his career out by selling his grandfather's false teeth back to him at nine times their original value.
- 1852 - Hariet Beecher Stowe's Uncle Tom's Cabin was published, setting racial equality back for an estimated two hundred years.
- 1864 - Dick Cheney gets bitten by a vampire. The vampires name is Wilfred Brimley.
- 1874 - Oscar Wilde does something noteworthy, then writes a scathingly witty entry in his diary about it later that night.
- 1883 - Eleven counties signed the Paris Convention for the Protection of Industrial Property, strictly outlawing the trade of ideas, dreams, and mind-control paraphanelia.
- 1914 - The first international Figure Skating World Championships take place in Connecticut. The losers maintain their dignity.
- 1984 - Dungeons & Dragons hits a new high note with the introduction of the Stock Broker playable character set, including Briefcase of Monotony and +2 Ballpoint Pen.